Derek Coburn

You know, for me, you know, I caught my eye to went through a bit of a period. You know, I'm probably oversimplifying it by calling it a midlife crisis, but that's probably what it was for me for about a year and a half. And I kind of shook up the snow globe. Marriage, you know, got rough for the first time. In almost 20 years, I was becoming more short-tempered.

You know, for me, you know, I caught my eye to went through a bit of a period. You know, I'm probably oversimplifying it by calling it a midlife crisis, but that's probably what it was for me for about a year and a half. And I kind of shook up the snow globe. Marriage, you know, got rough for the first time. In almost 20 years, I was becoming more short-tempered.

I realized that I found myself saying a lot of things like, I need to have sex with my wife in order to be the best version of me.

I realized that I found myself saying a lot of things like, I need to have sex with my wife in order to be the best version of me.

Yeah. Not the sex part of my wife, but worked on the relationship there. But like everything else, like quit cold turkey. And I and and it became really difficult, really hard, you know, for several months. But I started a meditation practice because like you had never worked for me. And it finally clicked. I started using like Joe Dispenza's meditations and those work really well for me.

Yeah. Not the sex part of my wife, but worked on the relationship there. But like everything else, like quit cold turkey. And I and and it became really difficult, really hard, you know, for several months. But I started a meditation practice because like you had never worked for me. And it finally clicked. I started using like Joe Dispenza's meditations and those work really well for me.

And I just was able to think about, you know, patterns and why was I constantly needing something to feel a certain way. And one of the things that emerged for me that I don't think would have emerged if I was constantly just feeding into my uncomfortable feelings with coping mechanisms.

And I just was able to think about, you know, patterns and why was I constantly needing something to feel a certain way. And one of the things that emerged for me that I don't think would have emerged if I was constantly just feeding into my uncomfortable feelings with coping mechanisms.

is I just thought back to when I was younger, man, you know, I thought back to, and I know you shared some of this in your story and your Ted talk. Um, but when I was in seventh grade, you know, I had an entire classroom of kids chanting, who do we hate? We hate Derek. And, you know, I had teachers telling me that I wasn't going to be successful because I wasn't getting a good grades.

is I just thought back to when I was younger, man, you know, I thought back to, and I know you shared some of this in your story and your Ted talk. Um, but when I was in seventh grade, you know, I had an entire classroom of kids chanting, who do we hate? We hate Derek. And, you know, I had teachers telling me that I wasn't going to be successful because I wasn't getting a good grades.

And I had girls shooting me down and telling me that like, I was never going to have a girlfriend. And I just realized observing this energy in me that my entire life became one big giant, like, You don't think I can do something. Watch me. And, and, and I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater because that energy got me a lot of like amazing things.

And I had girls shooting me down and telling me that like, I was never going to have a girlfriend. And I just realized observing this energy in me that my entire life became one big giant, like, You don't think I can do something. Watch me. And, and, and I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater because that energy got me a lot of like amazing things.

Like I really do have, I'm married to an incredible woman. Our relationship is in an amazing place right now. I've got great kids. I have more friends than most adults I know. But I was still like feeling that energy and it was still like, It was almost like every day I was waking up and my body was like, who are we going to start something with today?

Like I really do have, I'm married to an incredible woman. Our relationship is in an amazing place right now. I've got great kids. I have more friends than most adults I know. But I was still like feeling that energy and it was still like, It was almost like every day I was waking up and my body was like, who are we going to start something with today?

Because in order to prove someone wrong, you need an adversary. And and so I've been like working and still am working to unwind that a little bit so that I can show up and create from not from a place of like wanting to get even with somebody, but from a place of like just creating because it's what I want to do on my terms and for my reasons.

Because in order to prove someone wrong, you need an adversary. And and so I've been like working and still am working to unwind that a little bit so that I can show up and create from not from a place of like wanting to get even with somebody, but from a place of like just creating because it's what I want to do on my terms and for my reasons.

Great question. So I think, look, I will say that I now feel just incredibly liberated knowing that I don't really need anything from anybody or any substance in order to feel the way that I want to feel. Like, I'm going on walks with my... with my family some nights and, you know, completely sober. And it feels like I'm on drugs. I mean, it just feels like really good.

Great question. So I think, look, I will say that I now feel just incredibly liberated knowing that I don't really need anything from anybody or any substance in order to feel the way that I want to feel. Like, I'm going on walks with my... with my family some nights and, you know, completely sober. And it feels like I'm on drugs. I mean, it just feels like really good.

And, and when, again, when, when I, for me, when I was, when I needed wine or weed or, or nicotine or these other things in order to feel a certain way, I was basically saying I couldn't feel that way without them. So being able to start feeling these things now has been, has been really empowering.

And, and when, again, when, when I, for me, when I was, when I needed wine or weed or, or nicotine or these other things in order to feel a certain way, I was basically saying I couldn't feel that way without them. So being able to start feeling these things now has been, has been really empowering.