Derek Thompson

It turns out at that point, I knew enough about what the research says about venting that venting is terrible.

That venting does nothing but solidify this effigy of the person.

We don't see people.

We see our beliefs about people.

So venting does nothing but reinforce, she always does that.

That's so like her.

There she goes again.

So I had enough sense not to vent.

And instead, I did what's called a turnaround.

Now, a turnaround, this is a technique that comes from what's called inquiry-based stress reduction.

It's a technique that was developed by Byron Katie, but actually its roots go back 2,000 years, all the way back to Aristotle.

And what this technique does is that it uses a few questions to help us see things from a different belief perspective.

We're not changing our minds because the brain hates changing our minds.

It's incredibly uncomfortable.

The brain always wants to retreat into what it's done before, into passivity, into what's kept it safe.

So it's not trying to change your mind.

It's not trying to change your beliefs.

It's trying to collect a portfolio of perspectives.

And so I'm telling you what happened with my mom, but you can literally do this with any of your limiting beliefs.

Whatever's causing you suffering in your life, you can do the same practice.