Derek Thompson
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Could that be true?
Well, to be honest, I had rehearsed exactly the script of effusive praise that I was expecting from my mother.
These flowers, they're the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life.
And when I didn't get that,
I lost it.
So who was judging who?
I was judging her response.
That's what was really going on.
Or at least it could be what was going on.
Okay, here's a fourth option.
I am too judgmental and hard to please towards myself.
That one wasn't fun to consider at all, but turned out to be the most true.
That when I had spent all this time and money on doing something nice, and it didn't work out perfectly, I judged myself.
I had messed up.
I was incompetent that I couldn't get nice flowers for my mother for her birthday.
And so this is called a misattribution of emotion.
I felt crummy about myself.
And so the first person I could take it out on, you're going to get it.
That's exactly what I did.
Now I have four beliefs.