Desi Lydic

I support you and your beautiful lazy-eyed balloon nipples.

Truly, I have never felt more seen.

You know what they say, sometimes they're sisters, not twins.

Let's move on to a different type of inflation, the one at the gas pump.

Yes, that, sir, is a great idea.

Horses drink much less gasoline.

By the way, this is how much Americans hate Teslas now.

They're just like, how do I stop using so much gas?

Maybe a horse?

It doesn't matter how many horses we buy.

Oil prices won't come down until the Strait of Hormuz is as open as Kristi Noem's marriage.

President Trump, President Trump, it was your stupid war that closed it in the first place.

Do you have any suggestions for how to open it back up?

All of those countries that can't get jet fuel because of the Strait of Hormuz, I have a suggestion for you.

So just to get this straight, you started a war that caused the Strait of Hormuz to be closed, and now you want someone else to figure out how to open it?

It's the Middle East.

It's not a toilet in the second floor office bathroom.

If you clogged it, it's your job to unclog it.

Unless, unless no one saw you go in and then you blame it on Michael Kosta.

You know what?