Desi Lydic

Great. Great. And-and this works out well, because it doesn't just have to be for Mother's Day. It can be for Father's Day, too.

Great. Great. And-and this works out well, because it doesn't just have to be for Mother's Day. It can be for Father's Day, too.

No, dads. No, I mean, moms can be alone on Father's Day, too. Also, uh, Memorial Day, obviously Independence Day, Labor Day, and, um, you know, the month of December.

No, dads. No, I mean, moms can be alone on Father's Day, too. Also, uh, Memorial Day, obviously Independence Day, Labor Day, and, um, you know, the month of December.

Okay, don't mom-shame me, Trevor, or I'll take that precious little turtle of yours and shove it up your manhole. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to recharge my co-parent.

Okay, don't mom-shame me, Trevor, or I'll take that precious little turtle of yours and shove it up your manhole. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to recharge my co-parent.

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day.

If you're wondering why I'm in bed having cold eggs, burnt bacon, and a pancake filled with jelly beans, then you've never celebrated Mother's Day. It's that special day each year when your husband gives you flowers he bought in a panic at the gas station and a card he wrote with his feet so it looks like your dumbest kid did it.

If you're wondering why I'm in bed having cold eggs, burnt bacon, and a pancake filled with jelly beans, then you've never celebrated Mother's Day. It's that special day each year when your husband gives you flowers he bought in a panic at the gas station and a card he wrote with his feet so it looks like your dumbest kid did it.

But societies have been honoring mothers since ancient times, including all the way back in ancient Egypt, where an annual festival honored the mother of all pharaohs, Isis. No, not the one that you're thinking. Isis was an Egyptian goddess and style inspo for every white girl at Coachella. The Greeks and Romans also had spring festivals celebrating the Great Mother.

But societies have been honoring mothers since ancient times, including all the way back in ancient Egypt, where an annual festival honored the mother of all pharaohs, Isis. No, not the one that you're thinking. Isis was an Egyptian goddess and style inspo for every white girl at Coachella. The Greeks and Romans also had spring festivals celebrating the Great Mother.

The Greeks called her Rhea, who's usually depicted with a mural crown seated in a chariot pulled by two lions, which is badass and carbon neutral. We should bring that back. But what we know to be Mother's Day really traces back to 1852 and a woman named Ann Reeves Jarvis.

The Greeks called her Rhea, who's usually depicted with a mural crown seated in a chariot pulled by two lions, which is badass and carbon neutral. We should bring that back. But what we know to be Mother's Day really traces back to 1852 and a woman named Ann Reeves Jarvis.

She started something called Mother's Day Work Clubs, where women in the community would help needy families buy medicine, get clean water, and practice safe sewage disposal. which is pretty intense as far as mom groups go. The one I'm in mostly just swaps hand-me-down Elmo onesies for weed. After Ann Reeves Jarvis died, her daughter Anna Jarvis decided to honor her.

She started something called Mother's Day Work Clubs, where women in the community would help needy families buy medicine, get clean water, and practice safe sewage disposal. which is pretty intense as far as mom groups go. The one I'm in mostly just swaps hand-me-down Elmo onesies for weed. After Ann Reeves Jarvis died, her daughter Anna Jarvis decided to honor her.

In 1908, she organized the first official Mother's Day celebration in Philadelphia with the help of department store owner John Wanamaker, handing out hundreds of white carnations because her mother loved them. Even though, let's be honest, they're kind of the basic bitch of flowers.

In 1908, she organized the first official Mother's Day celebration in Philadelphia with the help of department store owner John Wanamaker, handing out hundreds of white carnations because her mother loved them. Even though, let's be honest, they're kind of the basic bitch of flowers.

And because the day was so successful, Jarvis lobbied to have the holiday-honoring mothers added to the national calendar. She led a letter-writing campaign to newspapers, politicians, and the governors of every state. Now, this was before Twitter, so she couldn't do that thing where you just tag a bunch of important people and retweet yourself. It didn't work, by the way.

And because the day was so successful, Jarvis lobbied to have the holiday-honoring mothers added to the national calendar. She led a letter-writing campaign to newspapers, politicians, and the governors of every state. Now, this was before Twitter, so she couldn't do that thing where you just tag a bunch of important people and retweet yourself. It didn't work, by the way.