Desi Lydic

Perverts can't excuse their perversion by offering gifts to victims as a way of mitigating the foundational wrongness of their perversion.

Your welcome gift is a custom puzzle of tickets to the cobbler.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Thank you, Michael.

Michael Kosta, everybody.

When we come back, find out what to give America so don't go away.

Welcome back to The Daily Show.

A time capsule is a great way to remember the past, but do Americans today want to be remembered?

Troy Iwata hit the streets to find out.

It's America's 250th birthday, and our government is preserving this moment in a very special way.

So in 250 years, when future Americans open this time capsule, will they be jealous of the golden age we're currently living in?

Now, why is 2026 the best year in American history to preserve for future generations?

Because it's not.

Not really.

I would say it's not the best, I'd say it's the worst.

Did you see how 2026 started?

Yes, Zendaya released like nine movies.

What do you think we can put into this time capsule that's representing America in 2026?

The height.