Dewayne Noel
Appearances
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
How would you describe what you do if you meet someone for the first time? Wow. Well, what the school does is I bring people out for a week at a time and teach horsemanship. The basic fundamentals of working with horses and understanding horses. But that is more of a springboard experience. for life.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You know, and people tend to think and sometimes we tend to think until I'm at two, I didn't accomplish anything. But, you know, getting from a negative five to a negative four, that's a victory.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Yes. Just staying at a negative five. We didn't go to negative six. That's a victory, you know? Um, you, you know, when I was young, come home from work, how was, how was your day to day, honey? I didn't, I didn't get in a fight. So it was a good day, you know? And, uh, but that is a victory. Um, it's, uh, You know, I study and, well, name your podcast, you know, Wisdom.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Wisdom is not, in my studies, I'm starting to see this. Wisdom is predominantly not something that you do. If you study the book of Proverbs in the Bible, okay, if you study Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and you study these wisdom writings, There's much more of the wisdom writings that are telling you things not to do than are telling you need to do this to be wise.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But more of it is if you're wise, you won't do this. And so, like what we're talking here, a lot of victories is just, I didn't do that today.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
My opportunities for farm work, ranches, and stuff like that was when I visited my grandparents back in Kentucky. And I knew back then this is, you know, what I wanted to do. It just, it took a while for me to be able to actually do it. Um, but I was raised in, in a, you know, a very close knit, very solid, very country, patriarchal family, you know, just very old school Kentucky. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Right. Well, you know, we work a lot with horses, of course, and we've gotten some horses in this year. They weren't ours. Like my son had bought a horse last year and the horse was, if you knew what you were doing, you could ride the horse, but the horse was not a broke horse. He didn't have him for very long. And then he deployed overseas. He's in the
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so, you know, there's all these things and the two young men that were working with me, it's like, okay, don't move fast. Don't jump. You know, don't, let's do this. Let's be calm, you know, because they're a prey animal, right?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So there's all this stuff that we work with, you know, and, and so, uh, the young man that rode, he went out and rode him and, uh, and he didn't do anything like, but it was just, he reached in the saddlebag and pulled out one of these water bottles and it crinkled. And, uh, and that horse, he just jumped out of his skin.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I mean, it didn't turn into a wreck, but it was just like, you spend all of this time moving easy around the horse, working with them real easy and slow, you know, so the saddle, cinching them up nice and slow, cinching them by threes, and moving all nice and easy, and then just one thing, crinkling a water bottle, and it's, you just multiplied by zero.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
What have you learned about humans from working with horses? Humans don't know how to communicate. Communication is our biggest weakness.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, that's not like the number, but that's something that lately, this is, this has been just really hammered home to me working with horses and working with humans. Um, And communication is a much more complex issue than I think many of us give it credit for. So you take a horse and a human, a relationship with a horse and human, all right, for that to work, there has to be communication.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Well, we have a couple of problems here. First off, the horse doesn't speak English, and we don't speak horse. But as humans, we insist that the horse comes into our world, but we're too arrogant or too lazy or a combination of both to learn to speak horse. And horse's language is not verbal. It's all movement. It's all body language. It's all this. And so that is a problem.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But another problem is us and the horse, we're predator animals. All right? We are the human is... We're predators. All right. We're designed to eat meat. Our eyes are side by side on the front of our face. We see one picture and we're designed to see what we want and go get it. The horse is a prey animal. They are the animal that everything that eats meat wants to eat.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so they have a complete different instinct. Their instinct is everything wants to eat me. You know, we, we, we wake up of a morning and we say, you know, I want to be a trophy husband. You know, that's my goal.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Okay. What do I want to go get today? The horse wakes up and says, I don't want to get eaten today. Two totally different instinct. All right. So to be able to build a communication with a horse, we have to move into the world and learn to speak, but learn to think how they think. Well, I mean, we can say men and women are the same thing. You know, the women are different from men.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
They have a different way of thinking. And like I said, my wife, I've been married almost 34 years. And even today, there's things I say that. And she absolutely what she heard is not what I said, you know. And so I have to I have to and vice versa, you know. So communication and you cannot have 34 years of relationship with one person if there's no communication.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I don't know. I was a different man back when I was raising my children. And back as a young man, I was wound really tight. What do you mean when you say that? I had a bad temper and I was under a lot of stress for a lot of years. And so I wasn't the calm laid back, easy going fellow that, you know, people see today.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Well, I suspect, I mean, you and I, we only met today, all right? But you strike me as the kind of person that you don't very often... approach another man like that. Like my self-worth is predicated on whether this guy respects me or not. Okay. Especially another alpha. Okay. Now horse is not an alpha. Okay. That horse is definitely not an alpha.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
If you wanted to, you could put that horse on the barbecue for supper that night and there's nothing he could do about it. Okay. So it speaks to me, the fact that you predicated your view of your self-worth on whether another creature whose wellbeing was in your hands. Liked you or accepted you or not. Does that make sense?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Well, it becomes unvirtuous when your help of others is about you. Um, I do this because it makes me feel better. I do this because it gives me purpose in life. I do this because you're going to like me more. You're going to respect me more. That's where it becomes a problem. Um, but it's not a problem if it's just, you know, empathy.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And, uh, so yeah, I don't know where I was going with that, but there you go.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So I was riding for an outfit in Alaska guiding and they brought in a, a mayor and, uh, she was a retired, the best I could understand. She was a retired barrel racing horse from here in Texas. And so when I signed on, they assigned her to me because nobody else, we couldn't put guests on her. None of the other wranglers wanted to ride her because her, her, go to was run.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
If something disturbed her, her head came up and it's run, just run. That that's my answer to escape, to just run. And it wasn't something that I could physically fight and stop. Um, and so that horse really made me step outside of the thought process of physically controlling something that has a mental emotional issue and getting in her head and figuring out what can I do?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so I think in my children are all grown and I think, you know, in a lot of ways, they're still sitting back trying to, trying to, uh, compare the old me with the new me that, you know, it's only been about five years that I found the, the place where I could just get some self-control and learn how to chill and, and, uh, get a handle on things, you know?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
If the problem is mentally, Or emotionally, what can I do to get in to her head and get into her emotions and fix that for her? And so what I did, and it's so simple, it probably wouldn't even make sense to a lot of folks.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But while we were sitting there and while she was calm, sitting there at the ranch, waiting for others to get on the horses, I would just come in with the lightest little pressure and get her to tip her nose. not pull her nose in, just give a signal, hey, tip your nose. So she'd tip her nose and we'd just do that and just do that.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And then when we get out on the trail and she started getting anxious about something and her head would come up, I would just default to that. And so she would find something that she was secure the signal and it would, she would calm down and she would come down and working with that mayor for the summer.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, I'm, I made huge strides with myself in stepping outside of the norm of trying to physically control something that isn't ideal.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Well, so your average horse, your average quarter horse size horse, you know, is going to weigh between 800 and 1100 pounds. OK, now what I teach folks is I don't want his body. OK, I want his mind. Now, if I physically like you just went through, if I physically get his body to do what I want, but I don't have his mind, as soon as he gets a chance, he's going to go back again.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But if I ignore the body and I get the mind, if I have the mind, I have the body. So in a situation like that, what I do is I don't pull his head up. Okay, I take the reins and I bounce that bit that's in its mouth. I bounce it pretty sharp. And he decides in his mind, I don't like that. I think I will pick my head up. And it's like, I'm not going to pick your head up.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
That's what you have a neck for. Okay. You have that neck. That's what it's for. I'm not picking your head up. I'm going to suggest to you that you decide it's in your best interest for you to pick your head up. And we go for the mind. And how much in life, you know, you've got all these.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
folks working for you here and you have to you can't physically browbeat and nag and threaten you've tried does it work no no no the belligerent yeah i've already heard stories yeah it's just yeah yeah they're abused yeah but you want to make things so that they decide that if this this is what chris wants done it's in it's in my best interest i want to go do that yeah
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And again, it's communication, you know, and again, it's getting in the horse's mind and working with a horse in that manner. Um, I'll give you an illustration if I can. All right. One of the cardinal sins in my book is when I go to get on a horse and the horse walks off when I'm partway up, you know, I'm stepping up, I swinging my leg over and he's, he's walking, he's leaving. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
That's a cardinal sin. Um, So we have a difference of opinion here, me and the horse. It's like, I want you to plant your feet and I want you to be still while I get on. And then I'll tell you when I want you to go. He says, well, I want to go. So I'm not going to sit there and take pull back and say, whoa, and do that one leg and hop along Cassidy down while I'm trying to get in the side.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to physically hold him back. I'm going to put my toe on the stirrup and I'm going to go to step up. And when he walks off, I'm going to step back out and I'm going to make him keep walking in a circle around me eight or 10 times. I'm like, I wanted you to stand still, but you want to walk. I tell you what, I'm a nice guy. I'm going to let you walk.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So I think in a lot of ways, my family are just, they're just sitting back watching and trying to justify the one, what they see now with what they knew for so many years.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm going to let you do what you want in a controlled manner. You pick the tune and I'll pick the dance. And I'll make him walk around. He's like, I don't I don't want to walk anymore. But you said that's what you wanted. So I'm letting you do what you want. He's like, I don't want to walk anymore. OK, stop. Well, I want you to stand here while I get in the saddle.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And he says, and it may take a couple of times, but he says, you know what? I think what I want to do is I want to stand here while he gets in the saddle, you know, so we communicate. And when I got his mind, when I changed his want to. I didn't have to fight with his body. And so that's how you approach it. You understand and you communicate.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
They don't care. I apologize to the horse for my sake. I mean, nothing the horse does is personal. The horse will buck you off. They won't come back and apologize to you. They did what they did because... That's what they felt was necessary at the time. And so they don't operate on that wavelength, but there's times when I do something and it turns out, I'm like, that was my fault.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And that was stupid. You know, the horse doesn't take it personal either. And I can apologize to the horse and the horse, it just isn't in his thing, but I apologize to the horse. To humble myself and to bring myself down and to say, look, you need to pay attention, dummy, and not do that again. The horse doesn't really, he doesn't want an apology.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Yeah. Um, and you know, part of it is, is when you're young, you can pick a fight and you can win some of them. And when you're older and you're busted up, I got plates and screws in my neck and I got joints are out of shape and stuff. You're not going to win that fight anyhow, not physically anymore.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And, uh, so it's, it's, that's where you start saying, you know what, I need to approach this, um, in a, in a better way.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I need to hear those stories, please. We, I spent a winter in Fort Yukon, which is above the Arctic circle in Alaska, staying with a fellow and, uh, I had a little one 80, a little Cessna one 80 Bush, but I think it was one 80 and we were flying out and it was dead a winter. It was like 30 below zero.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I was newly married and we had a baby. It was just an infant and I was working. We were in little town called Alpine, Tennessee. And there was a Burke line furniture factory there that made recliners. And I was working in the shipping and, uh, was not happy. Uh, didn't like the job. What age are you here? Oh, I was, 26.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And in the back of that plane, we had like 100-pound propane tank, a transmission out of a van, some spare tires. And so we're flying back south to Fairbanks. And when we landed in, as we're touching down in Fairbanks, we had a crosswind. And so you kind of tilt the plane as you're landed into that crosswind.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so as we touched down and I'm setting up on the co-pilot on passenger side, I see the landing gear go wrong. The wheel and everything go rolling off across the tundra. And so I reach over and I'm like, hey, is that supposed to? And then that strut came down and hit and we flipped and ground looped and carried on on the runway. With all of this washing machine ingredients inside.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
All in the back. Oh, yeah. There was a transmission out of a half-ton Chevy van and a 100-pound propane bottle and Just flying around. Yeah, it didn't hit us, which is good. But we stood out on that. Of course, I was wearing cowboy boots. So we're standing out on the runway in Fairbanks waiting for FAA to come out. And it's 30 below zero. And they come out and inspected.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Then we picked up the wing, a bunch of us, and pushed the plane off the runways. And then I had to catch two more flights that day to get back home. So, yeah. What about the motor home? Motor home, I was a passenger in the back, and we were coming down a narrow road off the mountain.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And the lady that was driving, there were a couple of teenagers in the seat right here, and they were fussing and bickering. And so she turned around to tell them to stop fussing. Hey, y'all stop fussing. They just drove right off. So we went down. I don't know how far down we went, but we slid down and hit and landed up against a bunch of trees down there. No rolling? No, it didn't roll. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
No. Yeah. So just life. And, you know, a lot of bucked off, been bucked off a lot. Bumps and bruises and fractures and breaks. Yeah, and landing in places. And so it was just accumulation of life. And then I was in the police academy. Uh, and we were studying Brazilian jujitsu and I was doing a backwards tactical role and something popped in my neck and I didn't say anything.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so then we went on a big run and this run was pretty, we'd run for about a mile and then without, and then we'd stop and drop and do burpees and bicycles and then jump up and run some more. And by the time we got back to Academy, my heart rate wouldn't go down. And then I had this weird feeling of like an electrical net in my body and, uh, my heart rate would not go down.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So finally they put me in the ambulance and took me to the hospital. And I was like that far away from severing my spinal cord. Um, But it was already bad, way worse than I had no idea. And that tactical, backwards tactical role had just brought it to the edge.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Right, right. And I don't ride bucking horses anymore. I mean, I say that, you never know. A horse is always a horse is a horse. But after so many years, I can pretty well tell that When one is a little hanky and I'm like, I don't have anything to prove anymore. I'm not riding that horse.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, and, uh, it was reading Western horsemen and there was a ad in the back and the classifieds about an elk hunting lodge in Idaho that was offering, you could come out and if you would work for the summer for free, they would teach you packing. And, uh, and I just, I said, you know what? I'm going to do it. I'm doing it. I'm taking the jump.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Raising children, you got to be balanced. There has to be discipline. We as human beings need discipline in our life, but there has to be love and grace and understanding. And so a lot of children who grow up with issues from being raised, those issues are because their parents are out of balance one way or another.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Marriage, you got problems in your marriage, it's usually somebody's out of balance. You know, they're too distant or they're too clingy. You know, they're too demanding or they're too permissive. They don't have personal boundaries. It's just out of balance.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I think. Oh heck, I'm going to do it.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
What are they going to do to me? Okay. Um, I don't like the trend in this circle, men's motivation circle. I don't like the hustle culture as is being brought out and taught today. I don't agree with it because I think it's out of balance. I think young men need to know that, Hey, it's okay for you to sit down and to read and have a cigar and and to chill and to think.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Cause I guarantee if you're in the weight room, um, pumping out all these reps and running on the machine, and then you're going into the cubicle and you're flip open a computer and you're not thinking you're learning, you're taking in, but you're not meditating on stuff and you're not, you're not thinking, but that can be taken so far that young men are made to feel guilty for just setting down and,
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
thinking and relaxing. And I understand that there was a tendency in this country. We had a lot of young men that were not raised with dads. They weren't raised to work, you know? And so it's sitting on the couch playing the stupid Xbox, you know, not growing up, learning to work. So that pendulum went too far this way.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So now you've got guys who in order to counteract that, they swung the pendulum too far this way. And a balanced man needs to be somewhere in the middle. He needs to be able to work, to do what needs to be done, to improve himself. And he also needs to sit around by the fire in the backyard and have a cigar and read some Kipling and just stay balanced. There needs to be balance.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, I started out, we started out with a YouTube channel where I was just, just wanting to give some basic horsemanship tips and some things for young people who are wanting to get into wrangling or cowboying or packing. And, uh, and it took on a life of its own. And, uh, and we started getting a lot of questions, a lot of comments on the channel. It's like, Hey, if you'll start a school,
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm not spending the rest of my life working in a factory and sitting here and doing this. I'm going to go chase, The dream that I've had since I was a child. And so my wife and our infant, she flew to Hawaii to stay with her dad. And I sold everything we had, which wasn't much. And I got a saddle and my gear and took a Greyhound bus up into Idaho.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I agree 100%. I have guys come into the school and they're like, they're just, I'm like, I don't say anything. It's not my business. But I'm like, you're going to die young. Tightly wound? Just tightly wound. And it's never enough. It's never enough. I'm like, when is it enough? What is enough? You know, I've been thinking the last couple of weeks.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm like, you know, the saying is just keep the main thing the main thing. But I think where we crash and burn is how we define the main thing. You know, and it's. I see myself in a very small, tiny way. Infant is my way. I see myself as the anti David Goggins. I see myself as a guy. It's like, there's places where his message is needed. I'm not knocking the guy. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
There are places where his message is needed, but his message is not needed for everybody. Okay. Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna probably step over a line here and you can edit out anything you want. All right. I'm really bothered by these guys who are financial gurus who will fire you if you don't have a six pack. There's a problem. There's a main thing.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Stay in the main thing problem with that viewpoint on life. Um, and. I want to see, I want to see men that I'm for whatever reason, whatever way brought in to influence. I want to see them find balance. I don't want to see them find money. I don't want to see them find six packs. If that, if that is part of the result of it, fine. Okay. But I want them to find balance and I want them to find that
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
place inside where they're like my main thing is my main thing and it's enough i've heard you say that a good man is born to serve not born to make money absolutely what's that mean to you well if i make money and i and i've heard all excuses because there's guys who have a problem with me saying that All right. Um, but if I make money, I make money for me.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Now I've got, you know, my wife definitely benefits from it. And you know, my children, although they're grown, they benefit from it. But ultimately in the end, uh, if, if I'm poor all my life into making money, that's for me, you know, but if I, if I pour my life into, uh, as many people as is fitting. And I don't know, um, their life is better for me. Haven't come through.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And then wasn't nobody there to pick me up that was supposed to pick me up. So I hitchhiked. from there into chalice, Idaho. And this was way before cell phone. So I found a pay phone and I called the ranch and the manager of the ranch says, I, I, I don't know who you are. I never heard anything about you. Uh, the owner is rafting the Colorado river to the grand Canyon with his girlfriend.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I ultimately, I want, and I'll never know in some tiny way I would, what means the most to me is that when you leave here today in some small way, your life is better for us. Haven't sat down and talked. That means that means more. Um, and, uh, And so we're, you know, I think we are.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I think a real man is born to serve and serve means provide for those that are in your sphere of you to provide for. It means to protect. It means to encourage. It means to teach and to train. And sometimes it means to step back and let them hit the wall. Sometimes the best service you can do for somebody is to, when it's all done, walk up and look down and say, did that hurt?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You know, that's, that's what they needed. Uh, but we won't do that because it makes us look bad. And even in our service to others, we do it for ulterior motives, you know, but, but yes. Um, I believe that very strongly. I believe if you spend your whole life to yourself, for yourself, you have no purpose of being here. This planet is not in any way better for you having been here.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Is that what a good man is to you? That's what a good man is to me. When my wife and I, and we've moved, we've lived all over, but it's been a thing of ours. When we leave... we try to leave the house in some way better than when we found it. And that's how I approach life is like when people come across my path, I try to leave their life a little better than when I found it. And you know what?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
That may be just looking at that poor tired lady checking out at Walmart and with the sore feet and the, the glazed over eyes and looking right now and say, how are you doing today? It don't take much, you know, but it's like, I guarantee in some small way, her life was a little better when I passed through that Walmart line than it was before I got there. Uh,
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And, yeah, I think that's a good man. A good man is a man who can protect and who can provide and who can serve, who can comfort, who can reprimand, who can discipline, whatever's necessary to make the world a little better because he passed through.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And he never told me you were coming. And, uh, but he came and picked me up and I stayed on there for the summer and, and I learned a bunch. And then, um, I left there and hitchhiked from Chalice, Idaho to Cody, Wyoming. And when I got to Cody, I had like nine dollars. And so I found a campground where they'd let me pitch my little one man pup tent. Six dollars a night.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm still old school. I'm still very old school.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Now, there comes a point where it can be debilitating to those around me. Okay. If I bottle everything up inside so that I get to the point that I am toxic or debilitating to those around me, then I need to get some help. But as long as I'm not, I don't need to add more burden for them to carry.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
my wife has, has been encouraging me for a while now for me to go and talk to somebody just there's years and years and years of, I mean, there were a lot of rough years there. Um, but I'm like, I can't, I can't do that. You know? I mean, the guy, I know the guy gets paid to sit there and, uh, but it's not, it's just not necessary. You know?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, I'm still of, you know, I'm still old enough and I, I'm of the, I'm of the school. It's like just, Just deal with it. Suck it up. Suck it up. You know, I broke three ribs one time in a barn, saddling horses, horse to a fit, took eight aspirin and got on that horse and did a four hour ride. Cause I had a job to do. It's my job. Now I know let's, let's go back to balance. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I was about to mention that. I understand. I'm with you a hundred percent, but at the same time, your balance and my balance and his balance are different. Um, and so I think, I think a man has to find his own balance. Um, and I, the, and you're going to get so many messages on here, disagree with this. Um, but I, I think that this thought of men's mental health, emotional health, go get help, go.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm not saying it's bad. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm not saying it's out of place, but I think like everything else, I think it could be taken to the point that men just become weak.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And, brother, let me tell you, in this day and age, we don't need more weak men. Now, when your internal battles come to the point that you need help because they have weakened you, then get help, you know.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But I think everybody's balance is different. And I fear there was a problem for years on this side, but I fear just like everything else, with that subject being pushed the way it is, we're going to get out of balance on the other side. And it's like, and everybody needs therapy for everything.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I remember it because and I stated that one because they had a shower house. And I'm like, I'm not going to become a scrubby homeless person, you know. So I stayed there and just started calling every ranch, every dude ranch, every outfit, every day calling, calling, calling. I ran out of money. And the lady who owned that campground there, she told me, she said, my dad needs somebody to haul hay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And this is, I think, you're right. The message may largely have swung too far back toward the
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So how does a man, an individual, pick any individual, how does he find that balance that fits him?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And trying to... So what would you encourage or advise a young man, 19, 23, who doesn't have the benefit of the age and the experience... And what would you advise him and say, look, this is kind of an area that might help you find your balance?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Can we boil it down to a bouillabaisse and say, look, when you have the thought, don't trust the thought, I need to do this or I need to do that, what if we start asking ourselves why? Why? why do I need to run 300 miles with two broken legs? Because David Goggins said so, you know, why do I need to do that? What is the purpose?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Not why for me, but why do I need to do that to make myself the man I need to be for those around me? Why do I need to say, you know what? I need to spend more time in the backyard with a cigar. Why do I need to do that?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And if the answer is because I'm becoming overwhelmed, overtight, losing my balance, losing my focus on what really matters in life, I'm becoming hard to live with to those that I care the most about, to those who I am the most responsible for. So the why is this will make me a better person for those around me. Me being able to bench press
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So I went and helped him and he paid me $15 for hauling hay like this. Came back another night, stayed another supper. Next day she said, If you'll police the campground for cigarette butts, I'll give you a bowl of soup and a sandwich and another night's stay. So I did. And then the next day, one of the outfits called, called me back, came in, sat down and interviewed.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
200 pounds as opposed to 180 pounds does not necessarily make me a better person for those that I'm here to serve. It feeds my ego. So maybe a little more time in the gym doesn't answer the why. And a little more time in the backyard with my kids doesn't that gives me a better answer to the why do I need to make this choice as opposed to that choice.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And maybe that's a little more accessible to a young man without a lot of experience.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Just smiling. I like me. I like me. Um, I would buy me a drink.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I look at me now and I, and I see all the warts. Okay. I see all the negatives more than anybody else does. I see the positives and over the whole balance of stuff. I like me and I can give myself the same grace. If you and I were friends, I can give myself the same grace I can give you because I like me.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I like me in spite of my understanding and the reality of my weaknesses and my warts and my scars and everything. But, you know, all in all, I'm a pretty good dude. And, man, you got to get to that point. Outside of arrogance, arrogance is pride mixed with ignorance. All right, that's the definition of arrogance. I'm not talking arrogance.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm talking about, look, as a human being, I've failed at this. I've succeeded at that. I've wrecked this, but I've built that. And all in all, you know, I've tried, but I like me, so I'm going to give me some grace. And it's as simple as that. I would buy me a cigar. I wonder how many men can say that. Not as many as should.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I threw my bedroll and everything into the back of their truck and went out and went to work.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Because there's, If you turn around and look back with open eyes at your life, you see all the scars. I mean, the only way you cannot be humble in old age is when you refuse to look at the reality of your life up to today. That's the only way. Because nobody's skating through it perfectly. But this is what drives my, and it sounds ludicrous in my ears, but my business endeavors today.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
This is the core of what drives me. There is no business out there that I can take on. There is no monetary endeavor that I can take on that is worth the gamble of me losing me. It took me years of, of a lot of grief and pain and work to get to be who I am today in spite of who I was. And I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose myself in business.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I don't want to lose myself in trying to earn a better living in trying to get a name and trying to do this. It's like I have turned down. I have turned down so much because I've looked at it and I've asked myself, who's this going to make me be? Who's this going to turn me into even a little bit? And it's like, it's just not worth it. It's just not, it's not worth it.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so I'm right now trying to find the balance in undertaking something that's not going to alter me, that I'm not going to lose myself and then not succeeding at something because I was too afraid to try it. Which has never been an issue with me before. I've never been afraid of failure before. But now I've got something I don't want to lose. And that's myself that I actually like.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
A me that I actually like.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
In a way, it was. In another way... it wasn't as difficult as it should have been.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And if it, you know, you know. Yeah. And people don't know how to like themselves. I mean, people don't know how to like themselves, but it's not complicated.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Tell me, how would you like yourself? Find somebody that you like, that you genuinely like, and figure out what it is about them you like. I like that. That's something I like. That person is, they're understanding. They're gentle. They're hardworking. They're honest. They're this. This is what I like about them. And incorporate that stuff into your own life. If that's the stuff you like,
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
My wife, and we're still married today. It's 34 years in March. Congratulations. Thank you. But I'm six years older than she is, and we're totally different. And, uh, I had been on my own for a long time when we got married and, uh, as happens in marriage, you know, we'd hit that two year mark and the luster was gone. We weren't getting along very well, you know?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Then incorporate that stuff into who you are. And then you like yourself. It's not rocket science. You know, there are things that you like as a person that wouldn't mean anything to me. There are things that you like in another person that wouldn't mean anything to me. There's things that I like in another person just because of how I'm wired. And it wouldn't mean anything to you. All right.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So that is what I like in a person. So if I work at taking on those attributes, it helps me become a person that I like.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
It is, but from an individual... And this is where I see things because of all of the particular... comments and questions and emails and stuff I get from young men. Okay. Um, you take a young man out there and, and everything you just said is a hundred percent correct. I agree with a hundred percent.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
It's, it's dead on, but there, there are guys out there that don't have someone like that in their life. Someone who's going to be that person that makes them feel good about themselves. But if we become the person that, that we like, I have recently come to the play and this drives people crazy. I think, I think it irritates people.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, I have come to the place in my life where when I meet somebody in there and they don't like me and you can tell, I don't care. And when I meet somebody that, that, you know, they're like, they really liked me. It's like, okay, but it doesn't carry much weight either. Cause I'm going to be leaving. I'm going to be leaving. You know, we're not staying. I like me and it's enough.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so when I meet someone who doesn't like me or I meet someone who does like me, it doesn't alter my sale.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So she wasn't, I don't think she was heartbroken at the separation for a while, you know, any more than I was. And, uh, so after I got settled, I had worked for the summer there. And then I wound up with another outfit. And after I got settled, she, I flew her and the baby out and we'd had enough time apart for all the turmoil and the bubbling to settle down.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
They were not raised. They were not raised with a dad who said, hey, this is how you treat a lady. You know, this is, this is how, you know, when girls talk and they say this, what they actually mean is this, and I'm not talking about no means no, but I'm talking about, you know, I don't, I don't know. You don't have to get me something to eat when you go get something. I don't want anything.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, but it is. And so young men these days were never taught by another man. how to treat a lady like a lady. And they go in to a relationship, girlfriends, marriages, getting all their information from Hollywood. And it's a crash and burn because they don't understand relationships. They don't understand communication.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Uh, they don't understand the balance between being a man and being a bore, being a buffoon, you know, being a tyrant, they don't know the difference between being, Can I call names on here? Absolutely. Okay. Andrew Tate. Okay. Or, or some little milk sop over here. You know, there's, you got the two extremes and they, they can't find that place in the middle.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, the biggest thing by far is relationships.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I mean, for one thing, For one thing, my problem with the feminist movement is why in the Sam Hill was something, is something as special and wonderful as a woman want to be equal with a man? Why do you want to bring yourself down to that level? You know, as a Christian, God gave two very special gifts to mankind. The first one was a woman and the second was Jesus Christ.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And then we could start working on it again. Um, so it was in, in one sense, it was difficult. Another sense, it was a bit of a relief, you know, That it shouldn't have been. It doesn't speak well to where I was in my character at the time.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
OK, you can teach an ape to work construction. You cannot teach an ape to raise human children. I think it's degrading to women to try to be the same as a man is. OK, treat them special. And and secondly, is communicate. All right. If you don't understand what they're saying, if you're confused, sit down and gently say, look, I'm sorry. I don't understand. I don't understand what you're feeling.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I don't understand, but I'd love to understand if you can help me. And just sit down and communicate. Just listen to them. You know, a lot of times they just want somebody to listen to them. They don't want you to fix it. They just want you to listen to them while they take all this boiling stuff inside their head and put it out so they can actually hear it.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And sometimes that helps them sort out all these thoughts that's in their head. They need to just put it out so they can hear it. And they don't need you to demean them by saying, okay, I'll fix this.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Yeah. Yeah, I hadn't heard that, but I agree with it. I'm like, I get up and give you my seat because I think you're special, not because I think you're my equal. A guy comes in, he's 57 years old. He's physically equal to me. He's on my, I'm not going to get up and give him my seat. All right. So I give you my seat, not because I think you're my equal.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
If you're my equal, you can stand just like I do. I give you my seat because you're special. What about the reverse?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
What do you wish more women knew about how men operated? Yeah. There's 10,000 times more going on inside the head of a man than you have any idea.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
He's carrying burdens that you don't have a clue about. And he don't know how to express them. And he don't know what to do about it. And he figures if he puts it out there and communicates it, he's just going to be shot down, called a fool, called weak. So he carries it inside. And you have no clue the burdens and the hell that most men are carrying inside and not even showing you.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I wish more women understood that. Yeah, it's a.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
The average man, I believe, the average real man, does not need to go get therapy for the battles and the burdens he's carrying inside. What he needs is for those that he's carrying them for to recognize that they're there and to respect it and to be grateful for it. They don't need to talk it out to get rid of it.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
will come, you know, and so it's just kind of grown from there. So it's hard to say we teach horsemanship, but then we also try to help young people have a more grounded, solid approach to life.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You need though. My wife has come. I've traveled all over the world and I've always been a very restless fella. And there's been times where my wife has come to me and sat down and said, honey, I love you, but you got to go, go hunting, go visit a buddy, go do something. But you can't sit around and drive me crazy all day.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
They need the one that they're going through this hell for to recognize it's there and to be grateful that the man is carrying this for them. They don't need therapy. They need gratitude.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
open up. They won't respond because it's looked at as becoming vulnerable. And it's like the, you know, the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike, it's a little tiny leak. But if I allow this little tiny leak, the entire dike is going to give way. That's why we can't allow the little tiny leak. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So if, if I, if I'm sitting here and if I'm one of these guys and my significant other is sitting there and I can communicate to her what I need to communicate without being vulnerable. I can maintain my strength and communicate to her. Okay. I can say, look, I'm, I'm working 60 hours a week and the environment that I'm working in is very, very difficult. And I come home and I only have,
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
eight hours here at the house. And this is the only place of peace I have in this entire world. And when I come home, you're angry all the time. You're not satisfied about anything. You're, you want that, you know, whatever the situation is, if you're not going to provide for me that little bit of peace, that this is the only place I can get, what are we doing? Now, you're not vulnerable.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You're not getting walked on. You're not being a jerk. You're not coming in, throwing stuff down and saying this. You're just communicating the hard reality truth is. The hard reality truth is... Our relationship at this point has boiled down to this. Now you have a beautiful house. You have, you never worry about there being grocery money. You have a car.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I put the fuel in your car because you let it go to empty all the time. I provide this and this and this. And what I'd like for you is some peace and some understanding. You know, if that's where your situation is, but to communicate it in such a way, not to come in and whine. Not to grovel and not to tyrant, you know, not to yell, not to pick a fight.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So, you know, she knows and she's, she's been very supportive over the years.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
It's like, look, I'm just communicating because I think we have a lack of understanding here. So I need you to understand this is where things are right now. And so you can communicate. But how you communicate is just as important as what you communicate.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Right, right. I knew a guy many years ago. He had a little dog. One of those little furry little rat dogs, you know? And one of his little joys in life was he'd look at that dog and he'd smile and he'd say, you're so stupid. You're the ugliest, dumbest, most worthless dog I've ever seen in my life.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And that dog would just wiggle and roll over and just... And he'd look at me and say, it doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it. Dog has no idea what I'm saying, but I say it in a loving tone and it's all good. You know... There's a lot of truth to that in communicating with people.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
We can say things that are not necessarily blatantly offensive, but we can say it in a real belligerent, aggressive tone. And all they hear is the tone. The medium is the message. That's right.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
What have you learned about the importance of fatherhood? All right. I believe God, God made man.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Okay. And God created man and God gave man the word. And the word at that time was don't eat of the fruit of those two trees. Okay. That was a symbol. That's all the word God gave man at that time. Then God gave man a work and the work was, he said, take care of this garden.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And then God gave man a woman to help the man. Okay?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
That man and then the woman God gave him, that became a marriage. And then that man and wife had children. And those children had children and then there became governments.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Okay? You see where I'm going?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
In this country, this country was founded as a Christian country. This is what I believe. People can do whatever. I believe that this country is only as strong as the church is. Even our founding father says America will remain great as long as America is good. When America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great. This country is only as strong as the churches in this country.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
The churches are only as strong as the families that make up those churches. Those families are only as strong as the marriages that those families are built on. And those marriages are only as strong and good as the man that God built the marriages on. As goes the man, so goes the marriage. As goes the marriage, so goes the family. As goes the family, so goes the churches.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Well, I'll just say I came to a place in life where I just didn't like me anymore. i looked in the mirror and i'm like i will not spend the next 50 years with this guy like i have the last 50. i don't like me nobody around likes me um i can't um we'll just it just catalyst just came about and i'm like i can't i can't do this anymore um i was i had had a small heart attack
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
As goes the churches, so goes the country. Everything is built on the husband and the father. And this country is a failure today because the fathers and the husbands have failed. How? Failing to be the example they need to be. Failing to be the leaders they need to be. failing to be the disciplinarians that they need to be failing to be the providers that they need to be.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, if you don't have, if you don't have the backbone as a husband and as a father to be the bad guy, you've got no business being a father or a husband. There's times when you have to know this is not a good direction for my marriage, for my family. And everybody's going to be mad at me. My wife is going to be mad at me. My kids are going to hate me.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But in the long run, this is a very bad direction and I'm putting my foot down and we're not doing that. And you become the bad guy, but you do it for the long-term strength and safety of the family. And we've lost that. I mean, we've lost that in this country to a very large degree. And, and so I think, I mean, our next generation, our next generation is going to run the politics.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
They're going to run the finances. They're going to run the judicial system, everything in this country. And they're going to be the result in a very large degree. And there's going to be those who don't agree with us, but they're going to be the result of whatever their father's made them or whatever they become because they didn't have a father.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so I think fatherhood is paramount.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Tell me the story there. Well, they would come, you know, the boys would come, hey, you want to, you want to, and she was taught, you got to go talk to daddy. We don't even talk about this. You go talk to daddy. Two of my son-in-laws today for years, they would come. It's like, I'd like to, and they would, they'd come to me and they're like, I'd like to, you know, write your daughter.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'd like to, I'm like, no, nope. Well, what about this? No. Why not? It's like, look, you're a good, you're a good kid. But my problem with you is you're a kid. All right. Grow up. And the two of my son-in-law stay there were literally years. They kept coming back and I'm like, no, let me see what kind of man you're going to become. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
My daughter's not marrying a boy and a lot of boys that grow up to not be good men. So why let her get into an emotional attachment with a boy who will never grow up? And why am I not protecting her from that heartache in the future? And both of them now are married to my daughters. But there came a point years later, I'm like, okay, I've watched you. All right, you grew up.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You can contact my daughter now. How did that go down with the daughters? I don't know. They wouldn't come fuss to me. But I think my daughters appreciated knowing they had a father. who was not just looking out for them today, their feelings today, their whatever, but looking out for their entire future and putting them on the right road.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I brought a man in my office one time and I had a desk along the wall. We sat down in front of the desk. He was sitting in front of me. I pulled out the middle drawer and my desk pulled out a Bowie knife about that long, slammed it on a desk between us. I said, do you have any questions? He said, no, sir. No, sir. I don't have any questions.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I said, all right, then put it back to George, closed it. And we got up and left. They never had any question. My daughters are married. All my daughters that are married are married to good men, good men. And I've told every one of them at the wedding. I pulled every one of them at the wedding aside. I said, if you ever hurt her, they will never find your body. I said, there will be no court.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
There will be no, um, why they call it a, uh, you know, you go down and you swear out a, uh, you can't come in with so many protective order. I said, it won't be any of that. If you ever hurt her, they won't find your body. She'll be my daughter to the day she dies. And they all know. Everybody knows. You know, it's just like, and I think they appreciate it.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I'm sure they appreciated that on the wedding day, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I didn't tell them. He may have later, but that's okay. But, you know, I think there's a lot of women out there would just say, man, I wish I'd had somebody in my life that had that kind of commitment to my safety and to my future.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I knew it was a heart attack. And I was at the point, I'm not kidding. I lay there in bed and I felt it come on. And I'm like, I think I'm having a heart attack. Good. I don't have to fight this anymore. I'm not going to wake my wife up. I went to sleep. You were in bed next to your wife having a heart attack.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Because I'm not. Every one of my children, when they got married, you're adults. And I never interfere in their decisions. Never. I never say you can't go here. You should do that. I never tell her husband, you should get this job. You should do that. You, we don't interfere in how they raise their children. My children are not raising their children the way I raised them.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I never say anything about it. It's you're an adult. I raised you being adult. You're a parent. Those children are your children. I'm not a tyrant at all, but they know from a distance that, Zeus is looking from Olympia, and he will throw that thunderbolt down if somebody tries. They know that it's like dad's always there. He's never meddling. He's never in the way. He's never in our affairs.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
But he's always there if we ever need him.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
What do you think were the most important lessons that you taught your kids? Or what do you hope that your kids learned? Your word. Your word.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
don't your word is your bond. Don't lie. Now I, I would go to jail for this today, but my kids are grown and gone. Uh, we had, we had a deal in the house and it's like, and I spanked my children. Okay. There, there it is. There's, there's a set penalty for breaking this rule. If you do, if you break the rule, you're going to get that penalty. If you lie about it, the penalty is doubled.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So it's like my boys, it's like, you don't hit girls. You don't hit girls. All right. And so, you know, if, if, uh, you know, if they hauled off and smack their sister comes in, you know, he hit me, she's crying or red mark on the side of her face, call them in. It's like, did you hit her? Now, if it's proven that he did hit her, you know, there's going to be like 15 legs.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I mean, the penalty was severe. You don't hit women. All right. If he said, no, I didn't hit her. Oh, son, don't do that. No, I didn't hit her. And then two of the other siblings come in and say, he did. We saw it. Well, he got the 15 licks for hitting a sister, but he got 30 licks for lying about it. So he got 45 licks total. It's like lying is the worst thing. Do not lie. Go through life.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You be honest. You speak the truth, even to your harm, even to your detriment. You do not lie and you don't hit women. So don't lie. Don't lie. Uh, your, your word is your, a man's most important, a man's most valuable, most important resource is his good name. If a man ain't got a good name, he ain't got nothing.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So don't lie, be respectful, you know, be respectful to others, be respectful to your elders. Even if, Even if they're not respectable, they've still been through life enough. Their position earns them what their behavior won't.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning. I'm like, dang it. I'm still here. And I didn't tell her. And I went to the doctor. I had further heart problems and other problems. And I finally went to the doctor, and they did an EKG. And they're like, yeah, you had a heart situation back on this. And it was just kind of like, I can't.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
No. So during that time, there were years where my income tax return, like for the year, I made $16,000 to $18,000 for the year. Uh, I worked hard, worked two jobs. We were very frugal. I had a guy asked me one time I was working. Um, actually I was working, we were living in temple, Texas and I was working. It used to be Watson electric was an industrial electrical supply.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I was working at the counter when the contractors come in. He says, Dwayne, do you, do you get assistance on the side? I'm like, what do you mean? He said, you know, food stamps, welfare or something. I had four kids at the time. I said, no, man, I don't, I don't get anything. He's like, does your wife work? I said, no, my wife is a mother of four kids at home. He said, then how do you do it?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
He said, I know basically what you're making here. How do you do it? I said, well, it's a very, very difficult, very complex, very mathematical equation. I said, you sure you want to hear it? He said, I want to hear it. I said, you sure? He said, man, I'm sure. How do you do it? I said, we say no. We just say, no, no, we're not going out to eat. No, we don't need satellite TV.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
No, you don't need a hundred dollar pair of basketball shoes. No, we don't have to have TV dinners. No, my wife can cook. You just say no. No, I bought a 1976 Dodge Dart paid cash for, you know, for $700. I don't need a car payment. I just need a vehicle that'll get me from point A to point B. I said, just say no. Live within your means. It's amazing. I mean, we rented a mobile home.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
We were in a mobile home, you know, $300 a month, whatever it was.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Myself, my wife, and we had the three children. We had the three children at the time.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
So it's just live within your means. You don't need near as much as you think you need, you know, and who cares about the status symbol of those around you, what they think you are. And then you find out when you get up to my age that the people out there who are super, super, truly super wealthy, for real, most of them, they look like they're living in the mobile home driving the Dodge Dart.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
They don't show it. I mean, they don't have all the big supercars and everything. You're truly... obnoxiously wealthy guys, uh, you know, they're driving Toyotas. They're driving Hondas.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Yeah. Yeah. So it's a, it's a big circle. And so if you want to get this side of circle, start over here. You know, if you want to get to the level of where you are so rich, you drive the crappiest car. You start by driving the crappiest car.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I can't continue to live like this, you know, and my kids didn't like me. I wasn't abusive, you know, I was never, but I just, I wasn't a very nice person. And I was just very on edge, very angry, very. And I finally, so I had to make some decisions.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
How big was Warren Buffett's mansion? He lived in a little three-bedroom, well, not a three-bedroom, little brick ranch house, same house he'd been in for decades. He drove a car. He just wore suits. How does Mark Zuckerberg dress? Sweats in a t-shirt, you know, how, how does, um, what's his name? Amazon. Look at how he dresses. Yeah. Bezos. You know, what are these guys doing?
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, it's like, oh, maybe it should learn something.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Speaking of famous people, who are some of the role models that you have looked up to over the years? Um, I can't think of anybody famous that was... Well, what about private people? My dad.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um... Uh... cowboy in kansas i worked with for several years really respected him he was a scratchy fella but he had he had his honesty and and uh he really had a big effect so just some of the folks i've worked with and been around but my dad was probably the my dad and i were not always on the same page about everything but i have never met a man in my life where i looked at and said
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
That guy's more honest than my dad. My dad was the most honest man I've ever known in my life. And no one has affected me more in that area than he did.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Pretty good. Yeah. It's, it's pretty good. Um, and he was, my dad was always himself, but himself was a good guy. Himself was enough. He was never wealthy, never famous, never, but he was very much respected in his field. And, uh, you know, there's a, there's very little more that a man could ask for when he leaves this world than saying, look, I was known as an honest man.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I was known as a very respectable man and everybody that knew me respected me. They may not all liked me, but they all respected me and everything else is really not that important.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
um what what's making me like this i need to get it out of my life and there were people including family that i'm like nope y'all are gone i stopped watching the news i'm like nope y'all are gone you know started changing my diet started spending a lot of time out on the front porch just smoking cigars letting the world go by and slowly over time you know got a handle on stuff
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Man, my days right now are all over the map.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
That's a really good question. I don't know if I have an answer for that. I... Were you stoned me? I don't know.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I think it's an indication of how the quality of my day is internalized.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
How it's not affected me. by my environment, by what's going on.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Um, I think it's more of that. It's like, whatever happens, you know, we can, whatever I'm doing today, we can make this a really good day. Instead of thinking more along the lines of if I can do this and this and if this can happen and if I can be here and if I can have this property and I can have this schedule and that, then that's going to be the perfect day.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You know, I've been staying with my best friend lives in Temple. And, uh, day before yesterday, I got him, he had to go to work. I got up, took a shower, made two or three cups of coffee, you know, and I got online and I said, I know there's cigar lounges around here. There's gotta be. And I found one in Belton, nice folks.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so I went to the cigar lounge and I just sat there and smoked a couple of cigars and talked to folks until about one o'clock. Went back to the house, sat on the porch and talked with my buddy's wife about poetry. She's real big into poetry. And we just sat on the porch and talked. And then he came home and he and I went to a Lone Star Steakhouse and I had a ribeye for supper.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I'm like, today was a really, really good day. You know, what did I accomplish? Who cares? What did I break? Nothing. It was just a really good day. You know, it's just the ideal day. And there's something to be said for getting to that place in your life that you don't have to
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
architect, what a good day is going to be. You make good days.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You make good days out of whatever you got, whatever's there. There wasn't a horse anywhere in sight. I didn't go riding. My wife is back home. She wasn't here, but this is where I am. This is what I got. This is what my good day is going to look like.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
It's been an honor you having me here. I'm very thankful.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And went back to reading, you know, when I was a kid, I read heavily, you know, and got back, went back to reading poetry and Marcus Aurelius and stuff and just kind of got some of my perspective back.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
I wanted to cowboy. That was it. You know, every little boy in this country at a certain age, they want to be a cowboy when they grow up. The only difference for me was I never outgrew it. That's all I ever wanted to do.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
There's no benefit to it. You know, it doesn't fix anything. Um, even when you're in a fight and I was in law enforcement for a while, even when you're in a fight, if you get angry in the fight, yeah, maybe your adrenaline comes up, but you lose your head. You know, you lose your strategy. And, you know, anger, it just turned out, I'm like, this is not profitable. And this is eating me up inside.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I'm making stupid decisions. And this has just got to end.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
The question is, how did I not get killed? By a horse? How did horses not kill me? It was always a fight. I mean, I loved horses, but there was always... It wasn't ever what I wanted it to be. And I never really realized... um, for the longest time. And then there's, there's, I'm just going to go. There's a horseman out there. He doesn't know me. Okay.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so I'm not, um, his name's Buck Brandeman and he's been my, my biggest influence in the horse world. Okay. Um, and so a lot of stuff I say is when it comes to horse world, you, man, Dwayne, that sounds really smart. It's not mine. I'm not taking credit for it. Okay. Um, but, I learned from him that your horse is just a mirror of you. They're just a reflection of you.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And so any problem that you're having with your horse is just a reflection of a problem that you have inside. And when I started getting that and I started understanding that, and I started taking that to heart, um, being learning to call myself for the horse.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You know, so I could accomplish something with the horse, which I should have had enough sense when I was young to do that for my wife or for my kids. You know, but sometimes you need a horse to teach you what a human can't. You know, Mark Twain said that youth is wasted on the young. So but when I started and it started working, you know, there's times I've gone out to work a horse.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Definitely not cowboy. I had a very solid family and my dad, my family, I'm the seventh generation of my family born in central Kentucky. My dad, my granddad, my great granddad and my mom's side of the family, too. And my dad was a Baptist preacher. We moved a lot for his work, but I didn't grow up.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
And I was like, man, I'm not in a good place today. And I've sat down in a chair outside the pen looking at the horse, lit up a cigar, smoked a cigar looking at the horse, cigar's done, light up another cigar.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
Maybe it was a pipe, but another one, sit there, and then go home. Just wasn't ready that day. I wasn't. And it's like, did I accomplish anything today? No. No, but I didn't wreck anything today. And sometimes that's a victory. Sometimes the biggest victory is, you know, I didn't make a mess today. It was a good day.
Modern Wisdom
#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy
You know, like in math, you know, you study your negative numbers and your positive numbers in math. Okay. So you've got a chart and let's start to my left. You've got negative five, negative four, negative three, negative two, negative one, zero, one, two, three, four, five. And in life, you're at negative five.