Dewayne Noel

And I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning. I'm like, dang it. I'm still here. And I didn't tell her. And I went to the doctor. I had further heart problems and other problems. And I finally went to the doctor, and they did an EKG. And they're like, yeah, you had a heart situation back on this. And it was just kind of like, I can't.

I can't continue to live like this, you know, and my kids didn't like me. I wasn't abusive, you know, I was never, but I just, I wasn't a very nice person. And I was just very on edge, very angry, very. And I finally, so I had to make some decisions.

I can't continue to live like this, you know, and my kids didn't like me. I wasn't abusive, you know, I was never, but I just, I wasn't a very nice person. And I was just very on edge, very angry, very. And I finally, so I had to make some decisions.

I can't continue to live like this, you know, and my kids didn't like me. I wasn't abusive, you know, I was never, but I just, I wasn't a very nice person. And I was just very on edge, very angry, very. And I finally, so I had to make some decisions.

um what what's making me like this i need to get it out of my life and there were people including family that i'm like nope y'all are gone i stopped watching the news i'm like nope y'all are gone you know started changing my diet started spending a lot of time out on the front porch just smoking cigars letting the world go by and slowly over time you know got a handle on stuff

um what what's making me like this i need to get it out of my life and there were people including family that i'm like nope y'all are gone i stopped watching the news i'm like nope y'all are gone you know started changing my diet started spending a lot of time out on the front porch just smoking cigars letting the world go by and slowly over time you know got a handle on stuff

um what what's making me like this i need to get it out of my life and there were people including family that i'm like nope y'all are gone i stopped watching the news i'm like nope y'all are gone you know started changing my diet started spending a lot of time out on the front porch just smoking cigars letting the world go by and slowly over time you know got a handle on stuff

And went back to reading, you know, when I was a kid, I read heavily, you know, and got back, went back to reading poetry and Marcus Aurelius and stuff and just kind of got some of my perspective back.

And went back to reading, you know, when I was a kid, I read heavily, you know, and got back, went back to reading poetry and Marcus Aurelius and stuff and just kind of got some of my perspective back.

And went back to reading, you know, when I was a kid, I read heavily, you know, and got back, went back to reading poetry and Marcus Aurelius and stuff and just kind of got some of my perspective back.

There's no benefit to it. You know, it doesn't fix anything. Um, even when you're in a fight and I was in law enforcement for a while, even when you're in a fight, if you get angry in the fight, yeah, maybe your adrenaline comes up, but you lose your head. You know, you lose your strategy. And, you know, anger, it just turned out, I'm like, this is not profitable. And this is eating me up inside.

There's no benefit to it. You know, it doesn't fix anything. Um, even when you're in a fight and I was in law enforcement for a while, even when you're in a fight, if you get angry in the fight, yeah, maybe your adrenaline comes up, but you lose your head. You know, you lose your strategy. And, you know, anger, it just turned out, I'm like, this is not profitable. And this is eating me up inside.

There's no benefit to it. You know, it doesn't fix anything. Um, even when you're in a fight and I was in law enforcement for a while, even when you're in a fight, if you get angry in the fight, yeah, maybe your adrenaline comes up, but you lose your head. You know, you lose your strategy. And, you know, anger, it just turned out, I'm like, this is not profitable. And this is eating me up inside.

And I'm making stupid decisions. And this has just got to end.

And I'm making stupid decisions. And this has just got to end.

And I'm making stupid decisions. And this has just got to end.

The question is, how did I not get killed? By a horse? How did horses not kill me? It was always a fight. I mean, I loved horses, but there was always... It wasn't ever what I wanted it to be. And I never really realized... um, for the longest time. And then there's, there's, I'm just going to go. There's a horseman out there. He doesn't know me. Okay.

The question is, how did I not get killed? By a horse? How did horses not kill me? It was always a fight. I mean, I loved horses, but there was always... It wasn't ever what I wanted it to be. And I never really realized... um, for the longest time. And then there's, there's, I'm just going to go. There's a horseman out there. He doesn't know me. Okay.

The question is, how did I not get killed? By a horse? How did horses not kill me? It was always a fight. I mean, I loved horses, but there was always... It wasn't ever what I wanted it to be. And I never really realized... um, for the longest time. And then there's, there's, I'm just going to go. There's a horseman out there. He doesn't know me. Okay.

And so I'm not, um, his name's Buck Brandeman and he's been my, my biggest influence in the horse world. Okay. Um, and so a lot of stuff I say is when it comes to horse world, you, man, Dwayne, that sounds really smart. It's not mine. I'm not taking credit for it. Okay. Um, but, I learned from him that your horse is just a mirror of you. They're just a reflection of you.