Dhru Purohit

It's not getting the whole paddle and the whole get up.

It's about carving out that time, right?

They tried a different time of day.

That was carving out a time for them where they were, you know, their central nervous systems were calmed.

They had come together in a way where they could really connect.

And they weren't exhausted.

I think that's one of the biggest things for couples who are...

just have young kids and are in midlife and have so many responsibilities is by the end of the day, you're just simply exhausted.

If you're going out for the night and you have a nanny coming, have the nanny come a couple hours earlier, right?

Spend time getting together.

There's Dan Savage has a very famous phrase, first.

Which is this idea, literally, that you have sex before you go out for the evening, that you don't try to do it when we're all taught is the time of day to have sex, which is, oh, at night when we're falling asleep.

Why are we designating the time of day when we're the most exhausted, the most spent for...

intimacy, which is so critical to our happiness, right?

Just because we happen to be in bed and we happen to also be going to sleep at that time.

It's just ridiculous.

But it goes back to this point that we don't prioritize sex.

We expect it to happen and that we don't think of it as something that we need to plan or really prioritize in any way in order to enjoy it.

I really, you know, back to this idea that mystery is what breeds desire, I think that what kind of gets conflated sometimes is this idea that, yes,

we don't want to become so over-familiar with our partners that we don't have any boundaries at all, right?