Dhru Purohit

Same thing with something like kink, right?

Even if you have no desire to act out some extreme form of kink,

Erotic power play is at the foundation of almost every sexual experience, even if we're talking about what I believe is the most underrated sexual act of all time, which is kissing.

There's a leader, there's a follower, right?

In every sexual experience, we're surrendering, we're taking the lead, there's a shift back and forth, right?

There's also so much we can learn

from kink practitioners about communication, consent, taking care of each other's needs after the sexual experience so that we feel cared for and not neglected.

So my idea with really introducing these topics towards the end of my book is to allow people to understand them because they exist, right?

There are a lot of people who are kinky.

There are a lot of people who are in these

ethically non-monogamous relationships in some format or another.

And so we need to be able to normalize and educate them, but also borrow from those types of interests what we can to improve our own relationships, no matter how monogamous or vanilla they are.

You know, one of my most popular TikToks is called In Defense of Vanilla Sex, right?

And so I do think, again, going back to this idea that because porn is featuring so much aggressive sex that is very, you know, scripted according to gender stereotypes, we lose sight of the fact that slow, intimate, connected sex, where we really are just understanding and, you know, showing up authentically

There's a reason that kissing during sex is one of the most predictive things you can do to induce orgasm for women.

Why is that?

Kissing probably lowers the speed of sex.

It also increases that feeling of emotional intimacy, which is particularly important for women when it comes to orgasm.

But, you know, we again, a little bit because of the sex positivity movement, one of the the side effects has been that, you know, at least among my college students and I think young people through their 30s today, there's sort of this feeling that that kind of sex is boring.

Right.