Dhru Purohit

And the idea is that many of us just grew up thinking that

oh, sex is just something you do for your husband, right?

Or it's something you're, you know, or you're meant to be the sexual gatekeeper and it's supposed to be the husband in, you know, the context of a straight relationship who's always trying for sex and is always ready for sex.

And the woman is supposed to be

coy and not straightforward and honest about her desires.

And it also just goes back to a larger gendering within culture of women being socialized to want to meet other people's needs.

And then you layer on top of that all of these different sociological factors that are going on.

I've been married for 22 years.

I have three kids.

I know what the emotional labor is like of trying to be a woman in today's society, right?

It's you've got the, you know, if you're married, you've got the emotional needs of your children, you've got the planning of the dentist appointment, you have the dog that ate the crayons last night and puked and has to go to the doctor.

Right?

You've got the, you know, you're managing schedules of two people often who are in, right, the highest, most aggressive points in their careers, right?

And so we, again, don't ever question that because we think that that's just sort of our responsibility, right?

But this division of household labor is still very real, and yet we're not having enough conversations about how to balance that out

so that women feel like, hey, my needs matter.

And within that, yes, my sexual needs matter.

And yes, as a woman, I have desires.

I have kinks.

I have fantasies.