Dhru Purohit

well-being, all of those things are going to lead us to carve out that erotic space in our minds, in our bodies that allow us to be truly present during sex so that we can experience pleasure to our utmost ability.

And then there's the carving out the space with your partner, like we talked about, which is this idea of planning intimacy, right?

Having sex earlier in the day, getting the nanny to come earlier so that you can have time and perhaps fit in some intimacy before you go out for the evening.

you know finding ways to introduce micro novelty like we talked about right whether it's you know encouraging your partner to sign up for that book club or go for it in the next step in their career or volunteer for whatever that organization is that they're excited about and that lights them up

But it's really acknowledging that we need to be able to come into our own as people, carve out our mental erotic space in the moment during sex, allow ourselves to get there, and then carve out this space with our partner where we can meet them in an authentic way that's deliberate and intentional, not just falling from the sky, which, as we talked about, is usually not going to happen.

It's not going to work.

Yes.

What does that look like?

Yes.

So I like to give a few, I give a few phrases in my book, right, about different types of conversations.

So we've talked about what's the best sex we've ever had, right?

I really believe that's a big one, you know, to use as a launching point.

But there's going to be, you know, when we think about sexual communication, there's the conversations that come before, during, and after sex, right?

And so we've talked about that before with finding out what kinds of fantasies do you have?

What kinds of things could we try out?

What, you know, times of day should we experiment with having sex?

But then there's the communication that happens during sex, which we assume shouldn't need to happen.

But the reality is that even in a long term relationship, we need to be able to ask for what we want.

Right.

And so sometimes using phrases like guide me.