D.L. Hughley

Our pedophiles just waiting for your mama to fall asleep.

Just... Surprise, surprise.

I don't want to play anymore.

You know, 75% of Americans registered as sex offenders are middle-aged white dudes.

Now, black people, we say, fuck them kids, but y'all do it.

We're like, shit.

And this administration lies so effortlessly.

Christine, no, man.

I guess... I guess...

If you wear that much makeup, you are definitely not acquainted with the truth, I know that shit.

That makeup is thick, too.

I don't know if it's foundation or spackles.

She don't go to the Mount Connery, she go to Home Depot, let's see.

And I gotta say, I hope Bad Bunny don't say shit in English, not one goddamn thing.

I hope he don't say shit in English.

Nothing.

I don't understand Bad Bunny.

I don't understand RFK, and he got a job.

I'm just... I know he needed a Secrets or a lozenger, or at least one good... Every time he talk, I want to play, let me clear my throat.

How does a motherfucker that been on heroin for 15 years tell you Tylenol bad for you?