Doctor Mike

That's kind of the campus definition of identity is I'm this, I'm Democrat.

I'm whatever, a racial group or a religious group or whatever, that sort of identity.

And that's a very brittle way to understand yourself because you reduce your dimensionality.

The way that people actually connect with each other and get happier is by thinking about shared story.

about what you and I have in common.

And that's what the most effective advocates actually have in common is they look for shared story.

I've seen these tests and I've actually done some of these experiments where you get people who can't agree on anything politically.

I mean, it's like, I voted for Bernie Sanders.

I voted for Donald Trump.

It turns out there's a lot of the same people, but...

But imagine, and if you tell them to think about their identity, who they voted for, and then have a conversation about politics, it'll be daggers drawn.

But if you start the conversation between them by saying, tell each other about your kids, they can't get to hate.

They can't.

It's like there's no road from there back to political hatred.

Because, you know, they're talking like, yeah, how old's your son?

16?

Is he a nightmare?

Oh my God.

Yeah, for different reasons.

They take out the car, like shared enemy.