Dr. Adi Jaffe

What an example. I love that. First of all, congratulations for figuring that out. Because when I was put in those situations as a young kid, I felt so lost, right? 14, 15 years old. I didn't know. I mean, I knew why I wasn't accepted or liked. I was new. I didn't speak the language well, et cetera. But the reason I love the example you gave so well is exactly how you started us today.

What an example. I love that. First of all, congratulations for figuring that out. Because when I was put in those situations as a young kid, I felt so lost, right? 14, 15 years old. I didn't know. I mean, I knew why I wasn't accepted or liked. I was new. I didn't speak the language well, et cetera. But the reason I love the example you gave so well is exactly how you started us today.

Being a people pleaser served you. It worked for you. That's why it became a thing. And that's what a lot of people miss is that chart in the book where I say, a lot of people look at somebody's endpoint and they say, this makes no sense. And I promise you, if you follow the story to the beginning and you understand how this behavior began, I guarantee I'll put everything on this.

Being a people pleaser served you. It worked for you. That's why it became a thing. And that's what a lot of people miss is that chart in the book where I say, a lot of people look at somebody's endpoint and they say, this makes no sense. And I promise you, if you follow the story to the beginning and you understand how this behavior began, I guarantee I'll put everything on this.

Being a people pleaser served you. It worked for you. That's why it became a thing. And that's what a lot of people miss is that chart in the book where I say, a lot of people look at somebody's endpoint and they say, this makes no sense. And I promise you, if you follow the story to the beginning and you understand how this behavior began, I guarantee I'll put everything on this.

It makes all the sense in the world. You developed a behavior of giving to others, even to potentially sometimes at a cost to yourself because the cost otherwise was isolation, loneliness, shame in a way, right? Because what is shame but separating us from others? And so it was a brilliant method. And you came up with it on your own.

It makes all the sense in the world. You developed a behavior of giving to others, even to potentially sometimes at a cost to yourself because the cost otherwise was isolation, loneliness, shame in a way, right? Because what is shame but separating us from others? And so it was a brilliant method. And you came up with it on your own.

It makes all the sense in the world. You developed a behavior of giving to others, even to potentially sometimes at a cost to yourself because the cost otherwise was isolation, loneliness, shame in a way, right? Because what is shame but separating us from others? And so it was a brilliant method. And you came up with it on your own.

That's what I love about addictive compulsive tendencies is they worked so well for a while that we actually over relied on them because they served a purpose. And then I assume, I don't know if this is true because you didn't tell me this before, but I assume what ended up happening is at some point later in life, you're like, I'm surrounded by people. Everybody likes me.

That's what I love about addictive compulsive tendencies is they worked so well for a while that we actually over relied on them because they served a purpose. And then I assume, I don't know if this is true because you didn't tell me this before, but I assume what ended up happening is at some point later in life, you're like, I'm surrounded by people. Everybody likes me.

That's what I love about addictive compulsive tendencies is they worked so well for a while that we actually over relied on them because they served a purpose. And then I assume, I don't know if this is true because you didn't tell me this before, but I assume what ended up happening is at some point later in life, you're like, I'm surrounded by people. Everybody likes me.

Everything looks good on the outside. Why am I not happy? And you're like, oh, because I'm actually not reserving enough of the resources, enough of the time, enough of what I have for myself. I'm giving it even when I don't necessarily want to.

Everything looks good on the outside. Why am I not happy? And you're like, oh, because I'm actually not reserving enough of the resources, enough of the time, enough of what I have for myself. I'm giving it even when I don't necessarily want to.

Everything looks good on the outside. Why am I not happy? And you're like, oh, because I'm actually not reserving enough of the resources, enough of the time, enough of what I have for myself. I'm giving it even when I don't necessarily want to.

I love that. I love that because it serves... My main point in writing this book is to really broaden the lens. When we talk about compulsive behaviors and addiction, almost everybody talks about drugs and alcohol. You know, that's a third of it, maybe even a quarter. Most compulsive patterns are actually behavioral, in my opinion.

I love that. I love that because it serves... My main point in writing this book is to really broaden the lens. When we talk about compulsive behaviors and addiction, almost everybody talks about drugs and alcohol. You know, that's a third of it, maybe even a quarter. Most compulsive patterns are actually behavioral, in my opinion.

I love that. I love that because it serves... My main point in writing this book is to really broaden the lens. When we talk about compulsive behaviors and addiction, almost everybody talks about drugs and alcohol. You know, that's a third of it, maybe even a quarter. Most compulsive patterns are actually behavioral, in my opinion.

I mean, look, think of all the people that are doom scrolling on their devices all the time. What is that but escapist behavior? But they can say to themselves, I'm not drinking, I'm not using drugs, I'm not doing anything bad. Why is this a problem? And you alluded to it, but I'll talk about it in the book.

I mean, look, think of all the people that are doom scrolling on their devices all the time. What is that but escapist behavior? But they can say to themselves, I'm not drinking, I'm not using drugs, I'm not doing anything bad. Why is this a problem? And you alluded to it, but I'll talk about it in the book.

I mean, look, think of all the people that are doom scrolling on their devices all the time. What is that but escapist behavior? But they can say to themselves, I'm not drinking, I'm not using drugs, I'm not doing anything bad. Why is this a problem? And you alluded to it, but I'll talk about it in the book.