Dr. Aditi Nerurkar

Once you move through all of this stuff, whether you seek counseling or you do some of the strategies that you and I have talked about in the past, then you can get to the roaring 20s. But

Once you move through all of this stuff, whether you seek counseling or you do some of the strategies that you and I have talked about in the past, then you can get to the roaring 20s. But

Once you move through all of this stuff, whether you seek counseling or you do some of the strategies that you and I have talked about in the past, then you can get to the roaring 20s. But

But for now, when you're sitting in that discomfort of whether you are highly emotional and maybe you're feeling a sense of real emotional charge when the world is telling you, you should be OK, everything should be great. But you do not feel that way. There is a disconnect between your internal experience and your external environment. And that causes a lot of difficulty for many people.

But for now, when you're sitting in that discomfort of whether you are highly emotional and maybe you're feeling a sense of real emotional charge when the world is telling you, you should be OK, everything should be great. But you do not feel that way. There is a disconnect between your internal experience and your external environment. And that causes a lot of difficulty for many people.

But for now, when you're sitting in that discomfort of whether you are highly emotional and maybe you're feeling a sense of real emotional charge when the world is telling you, you should be OK, everything should be great. But you do not feel that way. There is a disconnect between your internal experience and your external environment. And that causes a lot of difficulty for many people.

It's the same difficulty that my cancer patients had when they given a clean bill of health. I should be doing this. I should be doing this. I should be feeling this way. And yet you don't. And then that creates all sorts of blame and guilt and shame.

It's the same difficulty that my cancer patients had when they given a clean bill of health. I should be doing this. I should be doing this. I should be feeling this way. And yet you don't. And then that creates all sorts of blame and guilt and shame.

It's the same difficulty that my cancer patients had when they given a clean bill of health. I should be doing this. I should be doing this. I should be feeling this way. And yet you don't. And then that creates all sorts of blame and guilt and shame.

The first step always when you're going through a difficult experience is to normalize and validate that difficult experience. Understand that if you are feeling this way, you are not alone. It is not your fault. It is your brain and biology doing exactly what they should be doing. Your brain and body are not broken. There's nothing wrong with you.

The first step always when you're going through a difficult experience is to normalize and validate that difficult experience. Understand that if you are feeling this way, you are not alone. It is not your fault. It is your brain and biology doing exactly what they should be doing. Your brain and body are not broken. There's nothing wrong with you.

The first step always when you're going through a difficult experience is to normalize and validate that difficult experience. Understand that if you are feeling this way, you are not alone. It is not your fault. It is your brain and biology doing exactly what they should be doing. Your brain and body are not broken. There's nothing wrong with you.

There is so much more right with you than wrong with you. That's what Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of my meditation teachers, has always said. It's very easy to start that self-critic, right? Like it's so easy for you to say to yourself, oh, something must be wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you. This is the biology of stress and you are seeing the manifestations of that.

There is so much more right with you than wrong with you. That's what Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of my meditation teachers, has always said. It's very easy to start that self-critic, right? Like it's so easy for you to say to yourself, oh, something must be wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you. This is the biology of stress and you are seeing the manifestations of that.

There is so much more right with you than wrong with you. That's what Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of my meditation teachers, has always said. It's very easy to start that self-critic, right? Like it's so easy for you to say to yourself, oh, something must be wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you. This is the biology of stress and you are seeing the manifestations of that.

So the first step is understanding that. The second is to have a sense of self-compassion. We know that self-compassion is not a soft metric. In fact, it changes your brain. Self-compassion works directly on your amygdala. The amygdala, that small almond-shaped structure that you and I have talked about. How does self-compassion work on the amygdala?

So the first step is understanding that. The second is to have a sense of self-compassion. We know that self-compassion is not a soft metric. In fact, it changes your brain. Self-compassion works directly on your amygdala. The amygdala, that small almond-shaped structure that you and I have talked about. How does self-compassion work on the amygdala?

So the first step is understanding that. The second is to have a sense of self-compassion. We know that self-compassion is not a soft metric. In fact, it changes your brain. Self-compassion works directly on your amygdala. The amygdala, that small almond-shaped structure that you and I have talked about. How does self-compassion work on the amygdala?

When you are feeling a sense of stress or anxiety or these uncomfortable feelings, the volume of your amygdala is turned up, right? It's your self-preservation response. And so the goal is about dialing down the volume of your amygdala. The reason self-compassion works on your amygdala to dial down the volume is because it changes your neural circuitry. It helps you get out of your own way.

When you are feeling a sense of stress or anxiety or these uncomfortable feelings, the volume of your amygdala is turned up, right? It's your self-preservation response. And so the goal is about dialing down the volume of your amygdala. The reason self-compassion works on your amygdala to dial down the volume is because it changes your neural circuitry. It helps you get out of your own way.