Dr. Alok Kanojia (Dr. K)

So now what you've managed to do is tolerate a difficult situation.

Now you are in a social situation.

You've done the first half of putting yourself out there.

You're not even done yet.

Then what you need to do is engage.

This is what putting yourself out there is.

It is tolerating your distress without avoidance, step number one.

And this is the cool thing is that you don't need to like, you don't need to solve anything.

All you need to do is tank the damage and your brain will acclimatize on its own.

Then what we wanna do is the second phase of putting yourself out there.

Now you wanna engage, right?

So now that you're in a social situation, you have less discomfort.

Try talking to people, try engaging with people.

You know, like, what do you think about today's lecture?

Like, whatever is going on.

Have you played this board game before?

Ask some inane question about the circumstance that y'all share.

It's a way of opening a conversation.

Then we engage in the behavior.

And as we engage in the behavior without anxiety, this is really important.