Dr. Alok Kanojia

So I think there's like two sides of this coin, right?

So absolutely that a lot of men will use pornography to cope.

A lot of men, because it's such a powerful, it's like the most endogenous thing

drug we have it's produced by our body right it's like you don't need to actually even take a substance but it activates your brain in the same way gives you dopamine yeah lights you up yeah shuts off your negative emotions right so anything that we get addicted to there are two things to look for one is it gives us pleasure and the second is it takes away pain right and then we become dependent on it but i think there's a couple of other angles to this so a lot of the women that i work with who you know have male partners who struggle with pornography there's an intense amount of insecurity

Right?

Because it's like, what are you getting from this that I'm not providing?

What's wrong with me?

Right?

And there's a very real threat.

Yeah, of course.

Right?

So is this because like it starts with pornography, but then like what comes next?

Right.

And part of that pain is not just the discovery, right?

Part of the pain of the discovery is also the fact that there was a discovery, the fact that this is hidden, the fact that there are secrets, right?

So if this is something, so I think a lot of those warning signs, I think are completely understandable.

And I'm not saying, I get that you're saying that they're understandable too, right?

But I think like, you know, there's a lot of insecurity.

There's a lot of concern about, you know, doing something behind my back.

The hardest conversation that I've had to navigate with a patient is how to communicate your sexual needs and desires to your partner.