Dr. Alok Kanojia

What a lot of people don't realize is that when men are emotionally vulnerable with their female partners, they get ostracized by their female partners.

Correct, yeah.

So this is really, there's some fascinating research that comes out of actually a feminist publication, which is really interesting.

So,

Oftentimes as men, as we express emotions.

So if you look at the way that women express emotions, and this is once again, bell curve, right?

So there's kind of this gradual escalation, right?

Where they'll talk for, let's say like a 45 minute period.

You don't start with crying.

You go from like zero to five miles an hour.

Your female friend tells you, okay, like I totally understand.

They're like very emotionally supportive and they'll kind of work their way up in a very like safe collaborative way.

Yeah.

So as men, we have like two modes.

We have like zero and we have 100%.

And what's really scary nowadays, the kids call it the ick.

But so many men that I work with, when they express emotional vulnerability to their female partner, their female partner gets the ick.

And that's for a couple of really interesting reasons.

One is we don't know how to go from zero to 25 and make sure you're okay with 25, right?

Right, so it goes from zero to 100.