Dr. Alok Kanojia

And we see this in all of our like superhero movies, right? Batman had this tragic experience where his parents were shot by the Joker and then he became something, right? There are all these moments, these powerful emotional moments. So if your emotions are dulled by drugs, by technology, by pornography, by watching serial killer shows, you will never change who you are. It is impossible.

And we see this in all of our like superhero movies, right? Batman had this tragic experience where his parents were shot by the Joker and then he became something, right? There are all these moments, these powerful emotional moments. So if your emotions are dulled by drugs, by technology, by pornography, by watching serial killer shows, you will never change who you are. It is impossible.

The neuroscience of your identity and development requires emotional experience. Okay? So with trauma, that's the next thing that happens. Once we have access to emotions, then we can become someone else. Now, the problem with trauma is that before we become someone else, the beliefs we have about ourselves... become our destiny. So if I think to myself, I'm a loser.

The neuroscience of your identity and development requires emotional experience. Okay? So with trauma, that's the next thing that happens. Once we have access to emotions, then we can become someone else. Now, the problem with trauma is that before we become someone else, the beliefs we have about ourselves... become our destiny. So if I think to myself, I'm a loser.

So when I was interviewing for residency, I went to an interview somewhere on the West Coast. And the director of the program called me at the end of the interview. And they're like, we don't understand why you're here. And I was like, what do you mean you don't understand why I'm here? And they're like, your application is really good. You could end up at any program in the country.

So when I was interviewing for residency, I went to an interview somewhere on the West Coast. And the director of the program called me at the end of the interview. And they're like, we don't understand why you're here. And I was like, what do you mean you don't understand why I'm here? And they're like, your application is really good. You could end up at any program in the country.

Like, why did you pick us? And like, I was like, I picked y'all because I liked the way that your hospital works and I like that the city it's in and I'm super into complementology. Like, what do you mean, why am I here? But the way that he approached it with a lack of confidence, he's like, our program sucks. And they had some problems at the program at the time, so it kind of makes sense.

Like, why did you pick us? And like, I was like, I picked y'all because I liked the way that your hospital works and I like that the city it's in and I'm super into complementology. Like, what do you mean, why am I here? But the way that he approached it with a lack of confidence, he's like, our program sucks. And they had some problems at the program at the time, so it kind of makes sense.

But this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I go into a job interview and I feel a lack of confidence, if I believe I'm a loser, then I'm not going to get the job. You used to go to clubs and buy bottles of champagnes and thought that you were a loser, didn't end up where you wanted to go. So this is what a lot of people don't understand. Everyone's focused on productivity.

But this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I go into a job interview and I feel a lack of confidence, if I believe I'm a loser, then I'm not going to get the job. You used to go to clubs and buy bottles of champagnes and thought that you were a loser, didn't end up where you wanted to go. So this is what a lot of people don't understand. Everyone's focused on productivity.

But the single most important thing that will determine your future is your sense of who you are. And that's not like some, oh, spiritual, get connected with you. This is like fucking science, right? If you believe you are a loser, the empathic circuits of other people's brains will detect that in you and they will treat you like a loser. You carry who you are with you.

But the single most important thing that will determine your future is your sense of who you are. And that's not like some, oh, spiritual, get connected with you. This is like fucking science, right? If you believe you are a loser, the empathic circuits of other people's brains will detect that in you and they will treat you like a loser. You carry who you are with you.

That's why you get into failed relationship number one, failed relationship number two, failed relationship number three until you changed. And when you change, your sense of identity changes, then your future will change. The last thing to do is on a more microscopic level, look at these responses within yourself.

That's why you get into failed relationship number one, failed relationship number two, failed relationship number three until you changed. And when you change, your sense of identity changes, then your future will change. The last thing to do is on a more microscopic level, look at these responses within yourself.

So you asked me at the very beginning of the podcast, and now we're coming full circle, how do you start understanding yourself? So you look at the drives within yourself, right? Why can't I sit still? And this is going to be so hard for you because if I told you, if I told you, Stephen, if you want to heal your trauma, you need to go to Bali, you need to sit on a beach and you need to do nothing.

So you asked me at the very beginning of the podcast, and now we're coming full circle, how do you start understanding yourself? So you look at the drives within yourself, right? Why can't I sit still? And this is going to be so hard for you because if I told you, if I told you, Stephen, if you want to heal your trauma, you need to go to Bali, you need to sit on a beach and you need to do nothing.

You will still turn that into growth and progress. Because what you'll say is, oh, this is what Dr. K told me to heal my trauma. So now I'm doing even more important work than a podcast for 10 million people on the internet. Now I'm doing the healing of my trauma, which is the goal. And you're still running away from yourself. There's no way you can run away from it.

You will still turn that into growth and progress. Because what you'll say is, oh, this is what Dr. K told me to heal my trauma. So now I'm doing even more important work than a podcast for 10 million people on the internet. Now I'm doing the healing of my trauma, which is the goal. And you're still running away from yourself. There's no way you can run away from it.

Your mind will transform the very thing that you do into the problem. And that's what trauma does. I'll give you a chance to respond because I've been waiting. I'm waiting for the solution, Dr. K. Yeah. So, I mean, in your case, I think it's like sit. Just sit.

Your mind will transform the very thing that you do into the problem. And that's what trauma does. I'll give you a chance to respond because I've been waiting. I'm waiting for the solution, Dr. K. Yeah. So, I mean, in your case, I think it's like sit. Just sit.