Dr. Alok Kanuja (Dr. K)

So this has been a hard video for me to make.

So I'm a psychiatrist by training and I trained at Harvard Medical School.

And one of the key things that they taught us there is that, you know, you shouldn't like open your mouth unless you have data to back it up.

And this is one of the biggest challenges with limerence because, first of all, it's not like a diagnosable condition.

Most people don't even know what it is, but the experience of it is definitely on the rise.

That's why we're kind of making this video.

And there isn't a whole lot of data about it, right?

So people won't do studies on limerence.

There aren't RCTs.

So it's really hard to sort of synthesize information and be able to confidently say, this is what limerence is, this is what causes it.

So I've been working on this video for about two years and I finally feel confident enough to share something with you.

So what we're going to start with, I think this is the best place to start, is in 1975 there was a woman named Dorothy Tenov who wrote a book about limerence.

And I think the opening lines of the book are so phenomenal, it's like poetry, y'all, that I think the best way to describe what limerence is is by just reading this off to y'all.

So you think, I want you.

I want you forever, now, yesterday, and always.

Above all, I want you to want me.

No matter where I am or what I am doing, I'm not safe from your spell.

At any moment, the image of your face smiling at me, of your voice telling me you care, of your hand in mine may suddenly fill my consciousness, rudely pushing out all else.

The expression thinking of you fails to convey either the quality or quantity of this unwilled mental activity.

Obsessed comes closer but leaves out the aching.