Dr. Becky Kennedy

I know there's a lot of people probably got lost. I asked for this, you know, darker. Could you pour out a good amount of this and then refill it with coffee? The person, you know, who knows if it could have gone differently a different day. Oh, right. No problem. Here you go. This happens with things that are so much bigger than coffee.

I know there's a lot of people probably got lost. I asked for this, you know, darker. Could you pour out a good amount of this and then refill it with coffee? The person, you know, who knows if it could have gone differently a different day. Oh, right. No problem. Here you go. This happens with things that are so much bigger than coffee.

But the coffee example is such a good one because what I'm doing in that moment is is I'm saying I'm allowed to have my coffee the way I wanted it and asked for it, even if it's awkward or inconveniences the other person. Now, can people be on the opposite extreme? And can someone hear this and be like, I probably need to do a little bit less of my own needs. That's what I'm saying.

But the coffee example is such a good one because what I'm doing in that moment is is I'm saying I'm allowed to have my coffee the way I wanted it and asked for it, even if it's awkward or inconveniences the other person. Now, can people be on the opposite extreme? And can someone hear this and be like, I probably need to do a little bit less of my own needs. That's what I'm saying.

But the coffee example is such a good one because what I'm doing in that moment is is I'm saying I'm allowed to have my coffee the way I wanted it and asked for it, even if it's awkward or inconveniences the other person. Now, can people be on the opposite extreme? And can someone hear this and be like, I probably need to do a little bit less of my own needs. That's what I'm saying.

You have to know you are. But what I have found, at least with moms, is the idea of, ooh, you know, I asked for almond milk and this is whole milk. Or I always, I used to give my clients this experiment who had this struggle. I said, I want you at the grocery store. I have to be basically done checking out to say, oh, you know what? I actually don't need those paper towels. I can't even tell you.

You have to know you are. But what I have found, at least with moms, is the idea of, ooh, you know, I asked for almond milk and this is whole milk. Or I always, I used to give my clients this experiment who had this struggle. I said, I want you at the grocery store. I have to be basically done checking out to say, oh, you know what? I actually don't need those paper towels. I can't even tell you.

You have to know you are. But what I have found, at least with moms, is the idea of, ooh, you know, I asked for almond milk and this is whole milk. Or I always, I used to give my clients this experiment who had this struggle. I said, I want you at the grocery store. I have to be basically done checking out to say, oh, you know what? I actually don't need those paper towels. I can't even tell you.

People are like, I can't do that. I can't like return it. Like, oh my goodness. It was like a panic attack. And the panic, the panic feeling is that would be a completely new circuit. That would be me saying, I'm willing to do something to meet my own needs. I actually don't need that paper towel. Even though it could get an eye roll or inconvenience temporarily someone else.

People are like, I can't do that. I can't like return it. Like, oh my goodness. It was like a panic attack. And the panic, the panic feeling is that would be a completely new circuit. That would be me saying, I'm willing to do something to meet my own needs. I actually don't need that paper towel. Even though it could get an eye roll or inconvenience temporarily someone else.

People are like, I can't do that. I can't like return it. Like, oh my goodness. It was like a panic attack. And the panic, the panic feeling is that would be a completely new circuit. That would be me saying, I'm willing to do something to meet my own needs. I actually don't need that paper towel. Even though it could get an eye roll or inconvenience temporarily someone else.

Those little experiments, and it might be the opposite. It might be saying to my partner tonight, you know what? We always sit down and talk about my work. And I actually did have a stressful day, but you know what? I wanna hear about your day. You go first. That's also an experiment. And for someone who's on that extreme, they're gonna also have a panic attack.

Those little experiments, and it might be the opposite. It might be saying to my partner tonight, you know what? We always sit down and talk about my work. And I actually did have a stressful day, but you know what? I wanna hear about your day. You go first. That's also an experiment. And for someone who's on that extreme, they're gonna also have a panic attack.

Those little experiments, and it might be the opposite. It might be saying to my partner tonight, you know what? We always sit down and talk about my work. And I actually did have a stressful day, but you know what? I wanna hear about your day. You go first. That's also an experiment. And for someone who's on that extreme, they're gonna also have a panic attack.

They're gonna be like, this is deeply uncomfortable. But just knowing where you are in the spectrum gives you the information you need to get a little bit of balance.

They're gonna be like, this is deeply uncomfortable. But just knowing where you are in the spectrum gives you the information you need to get a little bit of balance.

They're gonna be like, this is deeply uncomfortable. But just knowing where you are in the spectrum gives you the information you need to get a little bit of balance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.