Dr. Becky Kennedy

And I think it's because in our brain, if we see something bad or annoying, it's just easy to think that that's the whole, right? So I can't even tell you how many times every parent I know We'll say, my kid doesn't listen. They hit all the elevator buttons. They hit other people. And then I said, and I know what you're thinking. They're a sociopath.

They're like, that's literally what I'm thinking. I was like, I know. I have that thought too.

They're like, that's literally what I'm thinking. I was like, I know. I have that thought too.

They're like, that's literally what I'm thinking. I was like, I know. I have that thought too.

Right.

Right.

Right.

No. It means you are a good kid who has not yet learned the skills to regulate urges. That's all it means. That would be the most generous interpretation.

No. It means you are a good kid who has not yet learned the skills to regulate urges. That's all it means. That would be the most generous interpretation.

No. It means you are a good kid who has not yet learned the skills to regulate urges. That's all it means. That would be the most generous interpretation.

I have a kid like that, too. He wants things for himself, and he derives a lot of joy from things. Those types of kids are going to do things. Okay. That's my resilient rebel. Okay. But... Projection. Why am I bringing that up? So what's my most generous interpretation of why this projection would happen? Why would a kid say, you're mad at me? Or, you know, I can see how mad you are at me.

I have a kid like that, too. He wants things for himself, and he derives a lot of joy from things. Those types of kids are going to do things. Okay. That's my resilient rebel. Okay. But... Projection. Why am I bringing that up? So what's my most generous interpretation of why this projection would happen? Why would a kid say, you're mad at me? Or, you know, I can see how mad you are at me.

I have a kid like that, too. He wants things for himself, and he derives a lot of joy from things. Those types of kids are going to do things. Okay. That's my resilient rebel. Okay. But... Projection. Why am I bringing that up? So what's my most generous interpretation of why this projection would happen? Why would a kid say, you're mad at me? Or, you know, I can see how mad you are at me.

Or why would someone even say in adulthood, you seem really, really stressed out, right? Again, the gazing in versus gazing out. I think it comes back to in our childhoods. I mean, that's what often a lot comes back to. Were we taught that we have an emotional life that lives inside of us? Then were we taught how to understand that emotional life?

Or why would someone even say in adulthood, you seem really, really stressed out, right? Again, the gazing in versus gazing out. I think it comes back to in our childhoods. I mean, that's what often a lot comes back to. Were we taught that we have an emotional life that lives inside of us? Then were we taught how to understand that emotional life?

Or why would someone even say in adulthood, you seem really, really stressed out, right? Again, the gazing in versus gazing out. I think it comes back to in our childhoods. I mean, that's what often a lot comes back to. Were we taught that we have an emotional life that lives inside of us? Then were we taught how to understand that emotional life?

Then were we taught how to manage and cope with that whole emotional life? Most people were not. So it becomes this very, very complicated conundrum. The emotional life is happening inside me. Again, like you can't beat it. It's happening. Our feelings can't get rid of them. And they're very powerful. They're sensations.

Then were we taught how to manage and cope with that whole emotional life? Most people were not. So it becomes this very, very complicated conundrum. The emotional life is happening inside me. Again, like you can't beat it. It's happening. Our feelings can't get rid of them. And they're very powerful. They're sensations.

Then were we taught how to manage and cope with that whole emotional life? Most people were not. So it becomes this very, very complicated conundrum. The emotional life is happening inside me. Again, like you can't beat it. It's happening. Our feelings can't get rid of them. And they're very powerful. They're sensations.

But if your framework was always you're getting punished, you're getting ridiculed, you're being a baby, then you develop a very conflictual relationship with your feelings. Like they can't be real. They almost can't be mine. That's really what they can't be mine.