Dr. Bethany Marshall

You know, Nancy, some predators, sex predators or pedophiles, are what we call interpersonal offenders.

That means they don't go as far as fondling the child's genitals or groping or molesting.

but they exploit the child emotionally.

They have, as I said earlier, poor boundaries, and they make the child feel like the child is under their control, and that could be traumatic as well.

She may be trying to normalize their household, Nancy.

She may be trying to

indicate that she's a nurturing person, that she believes her husband, that this is a warm and cozy home.

It's not a place where a sex predator lives.

But you know, Nancy, something I always tell my patients when they're about to marry somebody where there's questionable alliance, I say, when you marry a person, you marry their crimes.

So that's just wisdom I would impart to everybody.

Also, the letter that she wrote to the court is very loving.

She calls her husband a sweet, sweet husband.

But I would say that idealization is necessary for a good marriage.

You have to idealize your partner a little bit.

And when the idealization is gone, the love is gone.

So if he

did commit these crimes, that idealization is going to come crashing down and we're going to see, we're not going to see a refrigerator anymore.

Yes.

Well, obviously it's voyeurism, but Nancy, it is stalking like the title of Keith's book.

And the psychology of stalking is that the perpetrator, the stalker lives in a state of rejection all the time.