Dr. Bill von Hippel

That's right. And it doesn't even need to feel like a big thing. It's just, let's say you and I are buddies and we're going to go to a movie and you say, I really want to hit a rom-com. And I'm like, I really want to see an action movie. We go, okay, I'll see you at the movies over. We just go our own ways. And so it can be trivial little things, but it's across our lives.

That's right. And it doesn't even need to feel like a big thing. It's just, let's say you and I are buddies and we're going to go to a movie and you say, I really want to hit a rom-com. And I'm like, I really want to see an action movie. We go, okay, I'll see you at the movies over. We just go our own ways. And so it can be trivial little things, but it's across our lives.

We're continually setting aside our connections to do what we want.

We're continually setting aside our connections to do what we want.

So there's a number of them. You can look at the propensity of Americans to live alone. We've got good data in the States, but the picture is the same in every industrialized country. In 1850, 1% of Americans lived alone. So 1 in 100. Now it's 1 in 7. So, you know, here we are 170 years later, 175 years later, and it used to be crazy rare. And now it's one in seven is pretty darn common.

So there's a number of them. You can look at the propensity of Americans to live alone. We've got good data in the States, but the picture is the same in every industrialized country. In 1850, 1% of Americans lived alone. So 1 in 100. Now it's 1 in 7. So, you know, here we are 170 years later, 175 years later, and it used to be crazy rare. And now it's one in seven is pretty darn common.

If you look in the 1970s, when I was a kid, about 30% of people saw their neighbors, got together with their neighbors, not visually seeing them, but got together with their neighbors at least a few times a week. and only one in five pretty much never saw their neighbors at all. Now that's completely reversed. Now only one in five are seeing their neighbors regularly.

If you look in the 1970s, when I was a kid, about 30% of people saw their neighbors, got together with their neighbors, not visually seeing them, but got together with their neighbors at least a few times a week. and only one in five pretty much never saw their neighbors at all. Now that's completely reversed. Now only one in five are seeing their neighbors regularly.

It used to be one in three, and now one in three never get together with their neighbors at all. So we're moving away from each other in a host of different ways. Even married couples are spending less time together It's weird. We don't understand what they're doing.

It used to be one in three, and now one in three never get together with their neighbors at all. So we're moving away from each other in a host of different ways. Even married couples are spending less time together It's weird. We don't understand what they're doing.

But what I suspect is happening is that, let's say that you both want to exercise and she kind of likes to jog and you kind of like to lift weights. We used to sort of do those together, offer a jog and then a little weightlifting. But now with 10 zillion options, you go to your gym and she goes to hers and you just don't see each other as much as you used to.

But what I suspect is happening is that, let's say that you both want to exercise and she kind of likes to jog and you kind of like to lift weights. We used to sort of do those together, offer a jog and then a little weightlifting. But now with 10 zillion options, you go to your gym and she goes to hers and you just don't see each other as much as you used to.

So across our lives, we're spending far more time alone. And if you look at marriage and cohabitation, In some parts of the world, they haven't changed at all. But in the wealthy parts, United States, Western Europe, they're steadily going down. So it's not just, well, people aren't getting married because they're living together outside of marriage.

So across our lives, we're spending far more time alone. And if you look at marriage and cohabitation, In some parts of the world, they haven't changed at all. But in the wealthy parts, United States, Western Europe, they're steadily going down. So it's not just, well, people aren't getting married because they're living together outside of marriage.

If you lump all those together, they're steadily going down over the last 50 years. And why does that matter? Well, the question is, first on the one hand, it's not a problem at all. You vote with your feet, do what you want, of course, right? But on the other hand, what if it's making you unhappy?

If you lump all those together, they're steadily going down over the last 50 years. And why does that matter? Well, the question is, first on the one hand, it's not a problem at all. You vote with your feet, do what you want, of course, right? But on the other hand, what if it's making you unhappy?

What if you think you're doing this because it's going to make you happy, but in fact, you're wrong, and you keep making decisions over and over again that make you increasingly less happy? And that's what I think is happening here. I think every one of those decisions is an error.

What if you think you're doing this because it's going to make you happy, but in fact, you're wrong, and you keep making decisions over and over again that make you increasingly less happy? And that's what I think is happening here. I think every one of those decisions is an error.

So the best example in my mind is if you look at hunter-gatherers. And so there's a team that went to the Hadza, people who live outside, would live in Kenya and Tanzania. They're as close as we know to what our ancestors would look like. And in my mind, they're perfect because they're also where it all happened. The Hadza still lived where humanity evolved.

So the best example in my mind is if you look at hunter-gatherers. And so there's a team that went to the Hadza, people who live outside, would live in Kenya and Tanzania. They're as close as we know to what our ancestors would look like. And in my mind, they're perfect because they're also where it all happened. The Hadza still lived where humanity evolved.