Dr. Brian Pennie

So proper little Doors followers.

We says, OK, Jim.

we'll try heroin once and I remember like I played football I was good at football I went this I seen myself as someone going places so I didn't want to be seen as someone that was buying heroin so it was actually quite difficult we knew where to get it but we didn't want to be seen getting it so we ended up getting it through a friend of a friend and like I wrote my book and I've dedicated a chapter in my book called falling in love and it was my fourth night doing heroin it gave me

all of the things that were missing from me life in terms of a sense of ease, a sense of softness, a sense of flow, a sense of nothingness to get away from that pain I felt.

It took me to heaven in that moment, but obviously it took me to hell going forward.

No, I wouldn't say like the, probably to an extent like the episode of Transport.

I often think back of the song by Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb.

And it was just like, everything went soft.

The voices quietened down, the bodily sensations quietened down.

I had this intense bodily agitation, like this fear of my own in our body.

That all softened, that all went quiet, that all went away.

And I just went into a nothingness and a numbness that is quite aversive when I think about the amazing life I have today.

But then I lived in such fear and in such emotional and physical torture that it was just a beautiful thing in that moment.

Well, I had an operation as an infant without a general anaesthetic.

So I was literally operated on.

This was the practice pre-1985.

So I'm in my 40s now.

To this day, like when I talk about this, I feel a little bit of an urge, just rubbed a little scar on my belly, big scar actually.

But I was awake undergoing a procedure, which was the practice pre-1985.

Crazy it is when you think back on that.