Dr. Ciara Kelly

Rivals for affection.

I do, but what I'm really hearing is,

a jealousy thing exactly like it is a rivalry a jealousy thing they say he's spoiled they say he's lazy they say he's all but what they're actually saying is he takes so much of her time yes that kid takes time from my partner that I see as mine and he needs a good font up the arse well I mean literally that's what I know but I'm saying that's the dynamic I would hear and you're kind of going well that's a difficult old place to be in

And I think the first thing is, so if we're going to try and examine this, the first thing is they are not your kids.

You are not their parent and your role is to rub along with them, I would see it, sort of like a housemate.

and not parent them because they have a parent who lives with them and they have another parent off-site.

They don't need a third one.

Now, they can't be rude to you and disrespectful, but neither could another housemate.

If you were living with a housemate who was rude and disrespectful to you, you'd go, okay, boundaries here.

That's the word I was just going to say.

Don't speak to me like that.

Absolutely.

You know, and if they give you the, you're not my dad or you're not my mum.

I know that.

I don't want to be.

You already have that role taken, but I do live with you.

And so on that basis...

I think mutual respect is important.

And then there's also the arguments between the new couple because

Why are you always taking swipes at my kids?