Dr. Cliff Redford

That's too much to ask.

So what we have is a kind of a tiered system.

We have one or two very, very, very close intimate friends or partners, sort of concentric rings of closeness sort of going out from that.

And then this broad...

very important base of embeddedness in a community which is like a culture just like the people you see every day it's like i don't know if you ever saw mr rogers neighborhood it's like you know the policeman or the the the the you know the mailman or the whatever it is

um, the barista now we would, we might say.

So when we know those individuals, even if we don't know them by name, when we see them every day, we say, hi, how's it going?

What's the story?

You know, um, love this weather.

I can't believe it.

You know, I could do it with you right now.

Two days ago, it was 90 degrees in Charlottesville.

Yesterday it snowed.

Wow.

Instant, complete, fascinating topic to talk about.

Well, here's what we know, according to research.

People who claim to hate small talk are actually worse at deep talk.

They're worse at all kinds of talk.

They're not inclined to have a passionate conversation about, you know, social, you know, current events or, you know, their deepest feelings and longings.

This is a stereotype that often people who claim to dislike small talk will perpetuate themselves.