Dr. David Rosmarin

speaker
139 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard May 2025 last heard May 2025

Dr. David Rosmarin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Mel Robbins Podcast · The Secret to Stopping Anxiety & Fear (That Actually Works) · 26 May 2025 podcast
I am even more excited.
Okay. The most fundamental is to stop judging yourself for feeling anxious, to stop feeling anxious about the fact that you have anxiety in your life. Because everyone does. It's a normal human emotion. In fact, if you don't have anxiety, something's probably wrong. That's number one. And number two, once you accept that it's part of your life, you can use it as an ally instead of an enemy.
I would say it's almost as counterintuitive as let them. What do you mean? Well, I don't want to let them. I want to control them. I want to stop them. these annoying, irritating situations in my life.
Once you accept that you can't, that actually becomes a resource for you to become more resilient, more connected to people who are worth connecting to, worth focusing more on things in your life that you can control. And anxiety is the same way. It's kind of like let them for your internal world.
100%. That's exactly what's happening. Our society is over-medicalizing, over-pathologizing a normal human emotion. Now, don't get me wrong. At a certain point, it does become pathological, but we are conflating clinical pathological anxiety with normal anxiety that all healthy human beings experience.
And in making all of that one big lump of craziness, we have become allergic to the normal side of anxiety, and that's creating the anxiety epidemic today.
I did this for years myself. I would show up to work, have clammy hands, have a little bit of an upset stomach. My breathing would be a little bit labored because it's a stressful day. And I would say, David, what's wrong with you? Until it was really during the COVID pandemic that it hit me. I'm like, that's not true. We're going through a hard time. We're going to feel somewhat anxious.
In fact, if I didn't feel anxious, then something would be wrong. And then I realized...
we need to bifurcate between normal anxiety which is actually potentially a very great resource to thrive in your life and then clinical anxiety which does need professional treatment whether it's medication or psychotherapy or something more sophisticated and targeted but we're getting it wrong and it's having disastrous consequences especially for kids how does being nervous or feeling on edge how is that an example of thriving
Well, it does depend what you do with it. Okay. If we take those nerves, those regular healthy anxiety feelings, sensations, thoughts that are going through, and we actually get to the bottom of it, we probe, we think about what's making us anxious, we can become more self-aware, right?
If we share it with someone else... We can broaden and deepen our connections with other people and become more intimately related to them. And if we embrace it, well, we can actually build our emotional fortitude to be able to face adversity. And we can also even use it to let go.
And I think that's the process that we have to start using with normal, healthy aspects of anxiety as opposed to get rid of it. And our immediate knee-jerk reaction is get rid of these feelings. Something is wrong with me. I shouldn't be feeling this way. And immediately your adrenaline is going to spike because you're interpreting the lower levels of anxiety as a problem.
So that's literally going to create a physiological cascade and it dumps more adrenaline into your system.
Sure. Looking back in the last 20 years, I would probably, if I had to be honest, it's going to be my own anxiety. And this has very much been a personal journey for me. I was taught in graduate school, I was taught in my training to diagnose, treat, help people to get rid of their clinical anxiety.
And those tools are still something that I use on a daily basis in a variety of different contexts in my work. But, you know, it took going through the pandemic to actually click into this concept that not all forms of anxiety are problematic and bad.
And we couldn't potentially even use those lower levels of anxiety in a constructive, positive, healthy way to help us to thrive and to grow in our lives.
Okay. There are cognitive aspects, things that are going on in your mind. There are physiological or emotional aspects. And then there are behavioral aspects, usually avoidance, but maybe some checking. So let's go through them. The cognitive aspects, worry, apprehension, you're nervous something's going to happen, focusing on the negative thoughts spinning in your head.
If I go to this event, somebody will judge me. I will have a panic attack. I'm not going to feel good. I'm not going to be able to manage it.
At best, maybe even worse. Never have another date again, right? This is my only opportunity.
Sure, sure, sure. And then there's the physiological. So that's something, you know, the sweaty palms, the upset stomach, labored breathing. And that's really adrenaline, which is going through one system and it creates those, the cotton mouth, it creates these symptoms that people have and the feeling associated with that foreboding, you know, those kinds of emotions that go along with it.
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