Dr. Dolly Alderton

It's come up in every episode.

Those London episodes.

I don't know because I'm recording this whole miniseries in London, but it has penetrated the culture so deeply.

They're the best two episodes in Friends.

Yeah, yeah One of my favourite I think I don't know why I find this so telling But when Amy shows up And Rachel's like I've been so busy And I've had a baby And Amy's like I decorated dad's office Yeah

Yeah, you can tell they're so entwined.

They're on the teat.

I think it's so interesting, those family dynamics where there's multiple siblings and some siblings are either financially or emotionally on the teat for an incredibly long, well into their 30s and other family members aren't.

And the interesting thing is, is that you would think that the presumption would be the valorizing of the independent sibling versus

Versus Not that any siblings Should be valorised Or loved more Or loved less But one would think The independent sibling Would have a sort of A status Some kind of a high status In the family And the siblings That are still on the teeth Yeah Would aspire to be That independent sibling But actually I think this is quite truthful What happens in Rachel's family Is that The siblings that are on The teeth still Yeah I've been off And I've said teeth The last minute It's a queasy making Yeah I'm going to

They're still fastened Yeah They end up being much closer To the parental unit Yeah And there's more intimacy Because they still need things From their parents And actually like I think what I've learned now Kind of watching all my friends And various families I know over the years Is that like

You think that needing nothing from your parents is the greatest gift you can give them and actually it is the greatest act of alienation.

Yeah.

Because when a parent, regardless of their age, feels like they are not needed anymore by a child, it is basically telling them they're going to die soon.

I'm feeling weak.

I remember when I was in my early 20s.

And the thing is, there's even... There's still opportunities for your mum to slip into that kind of nursing role.

It's so fucking toxic, but we all... We're all getting something from it.

But as you get older, there are...

fewer and fewer experiences for your dad to be able to step in and do that for you unless it's with things like money which is obviously what we see in Rachel Green's family yeah like I remember in my early 20s I was over here but I was working for an Irish newspaper and they weren't paying me my dad just waited outside that office and he just buttonholed them when they came out and being like you owe my daughter 300 euros or whatever and then just he just called me I think from a pay phone and was like you'll get your money the other day