Dr. Ellen Langer

So you don't hold the tennis racket like this if your hand is half the size of the person who – or twice the size or anything else. And people don't realize it, that everything that is was a decision. For something to be a decision means there was uncertainty. As soon as the decision is made, we forget all that uncertainty and act as if this is the way it's supposed to be.

So you don't hold the tennis racket like this if your hand is half the size of the person who – or twice the size or anything else. And people don't realize it, that everything that is was a decision. For something to be a decision means there was uncertainty. As soon as the decision is made, we forget all that uncertainty and act as if this is the way it's supposed to be.

An example I often use, you know, tennis. So you have—and everybody, when you think about this, and nobody's going to argue that, of course, the rules to tennis weren't handed down from the heavens. Somebody decided it should be two serves, and that's fine. But for me, three serves would be better. The first time, I kill it. It doesn't go in.

An example I often use, you know, tennis. So you have—and everybody, when you think about this, and nobody's going to argue that, of course, the rules to tennis weren't handed down from the heavens. Somebody decided it should be two serves, and that's fine. But for me, three serves would be better. The first time, I kill it. It doesn't go in.

An example I often use, you know, tennis. So you have—and everybody, when you think about this, and nobody's going to argue that, of course, the rules to tennis weren't handed down from the heavens. Somebody decided it should be two serves, and that's fine. But for me, three serves would be better. The first time, I kill it. It doesn't go in.

Now I'm afraid to try to kill it again and learn from that because I don't want to double fold. So I have a little wuss second serve. I had three serves. I kill it. It doesn't go in. Now I learn from that. I kill it again, but I'm getting a little better. And I still have my backup third serve. All right. So what is the point of that?

Now I'm afraid to try to kill it again and learn from that because I don't want to double fold. So I have a little wuss second serve. I had three serves. I kill it. It doesn't go in. Now I learn from that. I kill it again, but I'm getting a little better. And I still have my backup third serve. All right. So what is the point of that?

Now I'm afraid to try to kill it again and learn from that because I don't want to double fold. So I have a little wuss second serve. I had three serves. I kill it. It doesn't go in. Now I learn from that. I kill it again, but I'm getting a little better. And I still have my backup third serve. All right. So what is the point of that?

That if I wrote the rules to the game, I would be a better tennis player. you would be better at whatever you're writing the rules to. So you think differently about yourself. You don't feel bad about it. In fact, you know, when people play tennis with me, we often play three serves. Why not? everything about it is up for grabs.

That if I wrote the rules to the game, I would be a better tennis player. you would be better at whatever you're writing the rules to. So you think differently about yourself. You don't feel bad about it. In fact, you know, when people play tennis with me, we often play three serves. Why not? everything about it is up for grabs.

That if I wrote the rules to the game, I would be a better tennis player. you would be better at whatever you're writing the rules to. So you think differently about yourself. You don't feel bad about it. In fact, you know, when people play tennis with me, we often play three serves. Why not? everything about it is up for grabs.

And so what happens is the lower down you are on the totem pole, the fewer of these things, games, ways of being that you yourself have created, the more you're trying to fit yourself into some form that isn't so comfortable. So we need to appreciate that rules laws. Everything was just somebody's decision about how things should be. And, you know, don't violate them purposely.

And so what happens is the lower down you are on the totem pole, the fewer of these things, games, ways of being that you yourself have created, the more you're trying to fit yourself into some form that isn't so comfortable. So we need to appreciate that rules laws. Everything was just somebody's decision about how things should be. And, you know, don't violate them purposely.

And so what happens is the lower down you are on the totem pole, the fewer of these things, games, ways of being that you yourself have created, the more you're trying to fit yourself into some form that isn't so comfortable. So we need to appreciate that rules laws. Everything was just somebody's decision about how things should be. And, you know, don't violate them purposely.

But if they don't fit, you know, legality is not the same thing as morality. You know, by law, one was not allowed interracial marriage. By law, one was not allowed to be gay. By law, you know, so on and so forth. One wasn't allowed to drink at one point and so on. These are not moral issues. These are a group of people who are making a decision for the rest of us. If it doesn't hurt, fine.

But if they don't fit, you know, legality is not the same thing as morality. You know, by law, one was not allowed interracial marriage. By law, one was not allowed to be gay. By law, you know, so on and so forth. One wasn't allowed to drink at one point and so on. These are not moral issues. These are a group of people who are making a decision for the rest of us. If it doesn't hurt, fine.

But if they don't fit, you know, legality is not the same thing as morality. You know, by law, one was not allowed interracial marriage. By law, one was not allowed to be gay. By law, you know, so on and so forth. One wasn't allowed to drink at one point and so on. These are not moral issues. These are a group of people who are making a decision for the rest of us. If it doesn't hurt, fine.

But, you know, if it does, fight it. Deviate. At least live the life you want to live.

But, you know, if it does, fight it. Deviate. At least live the life you want to live.

But, you know, if it does, fight it. Deviate. At least live the life you want to live.