Dr. Erica Komisar

Most parts of the world, babies are worn on their mother's bodies because mothers perform a number of really important functions for babies that are biological functions based on our evolutionary need to provide our babies with what we call attachment security. So, you know, society took a turn and it's caused a lot of damage.

Most parts of the world, babies are worn on their mother's bodies because mothers perform a number of really important functions for babies that are biological functions based on our evolutionary need to provide our babies with what we call attachment security. So, you know, society took a turn and it's caused a lot of damage.

I mean, this mental health crisis in children, I saw coming 30 years ago. And it was already, you know, so, you know, I have friends and colleagues like Jonathan Haidt who says, oh, well, it didn't start till social media. And that's false because I was seeing this uptick. And if you really look, there was an uptick in mental illness in children. going back decades.

I mean, this mental health crisis in children, I saw coming 30 years ago. And it was already, you know, so, you know, I have friends and colleagues like Jonathan Haidt who says, oh, well, it didn't start till social media. And that's false because I was seeing this uptick. And if you really look, there was an uptick in mental illness in children. going back decades.

And it had everything to do with the shift in society towards self-centeredness, towards narcissism, towards individualism, towards me, me, me. And so, you know, and I always say that you don't have to have children, period, to have a satisfying life. But if you're going to have children, you need to be equipped to care for them. And

And it had everything to do with the shift in society towards self-centeredness, towards narcissism, towards individualism, towards me, me, me. And so, you know, and I always say that you don't have to have children, period, to have a satisfying life. But if you're going to have children, you need to be equipped to care for them. And

Because having children alone without really understanding what it means to care for them and being prepared to take on that responsibility is causing our children to break down.

Because having children alone without really understanding what it means to care for them and being prepared to take on that responsibility is causing our children to break down.

So in fact, in the book, it talks about the difference between mothers and fathers, because that's an important question. And the reason I wrote about mothers is not because fathers are unimportant, but fathers are important in a different way. So there's a whole debate in society about this kind of idea of gender neutrality, that mothers and fathers are interchangeable.

So in fact, in the book, it talks about the difference between mothers and fathers, because that's an important question. And the reason I wrote about mothers is not because fathers are unimportant, but fathers are important in a different way. So there's a whole debate in society about this kind of idea of gender neutrality, that mothers and fathers are interchangeable.

But actually, from an evolutionary perspective, as mammals, they're not interchangeable. They serve different functions. And those roles and those behaviors are connected to nurturing hormones. So mothers are really important for what we call sensitive empathic nurturing when children are infants and toddlers.

But actually, from an evolutionary perspective, as mammals, they're not interchangeable. They serve different functions. And those roles and those behaviors are connected to nurturing hormones. So mothers are really important for what we call sensitive empathic nurturing when children are infants and toddlers.

That means that when children are in distress, mothers soothe babies and therefore regulate their emotions from moment to moment. Every time a mother soothes a baby... with skin-to-skin contact and eye contact and the soothing tone of her voice, she's leaning into that baby's pain and she is regulating that baby's emotions.

That means that when children are in distress, mothers soothe babies and therefore regulate their emotions from moment to moment. Every time a mother soothes a baby... with skin-to-skin contact and eye contact and the soothing tone of her voice, she's leaning into that baby's pain and she is regulating that baby's emotions.

And the way I like to think about it is that, you know, when babies are born, they're born emotionally disjointed. Think about sailing in the Atlantic. This is how babies' emotions go. They'll go from zero to 60 in three seconds with their emotions.

And the way I like to think about it is that, you know, when babies are born, they're born emotionally disjointed. Think about sailing in the Atlantic. This is how babies' emotions go. They'll go from zero to 60 in three seconds with their emotions.

And where we want to get babies is to sailing in the Caribbean, not flatlining, but we want them to be able to regulate their emotions, but they're not born that way. And so mother's because they soothe the baby from moment to moment, when they're physically and emotionally present enough in the first three years, they help a baby to learn how to regulate their emotions.

And where we want to get babies is to sailing in the Caribbean, not flatlining, but we want them to be able to regulate their emotions, but they're not born that way. And so mother's because they soothe the baby from moment to moment, when they're physically and emotionally present enough in the first three years, they help a baby to learn how to regulate their emotions.

So by three years of age, 85% of the right brain is developed. And by three years of age, babies can then start to internalize the ability to regulate their own emotions. Now, if mothers aren't present and as the primary attachment figures to do that mirroring of emotion, to do that soothing of their emotions. Then babies don't learn how to regulate their emotions.

So by three years of age, 85% of the right brain is developed. And by three years of age, babies can then start to internalize the ability to regulate their own emotions. Now, if mothers aren't present and as the primary attachment figures to do that mirroring of emotion, to do that soothing of their emotions. Then babies don't learn how to regulate their emotions.