Dr. Ethan Kross

And it enhances social interactions. And so some people are really good at detecting it. Others are really good at displaying it. I'm gonna go back to my daughter. So if something happens where she feels sad, she exhibits this exaggerated response like she'll stick out her lower lip. And even if I'm kind of upset at her, like it is amazing the power that that has on me.

It is so, so beautifully manipulative. And it's a testament to the power that these displays can have on us. So I wanna go back to one other question you raised in your last comment, and we'll go back to the inner voice and its functionality. You raised the question about being shifted by others, other people, and perhaps either just our surroundings, music or spaces.

It is so, so beautifully manipulative. And it's a testament to the power that these displays can have on us. So I wanna go back to one other question you raised in your last comment, and we'll go back to the inner voice and its functionality. You raised the question about being shifted by others, other people, and perhaps either just our surroundings, music or spaces.

It is so, so beautifully manipulative. And it's a testament to the power that these displays can have on us. So I wanna go back to one other question you raised in your last comment, and we'll go back to the inner voice and its functionality. You raised the question about being shifted by others, other people, and perhaps either just our surroundings, music or spaces.

Sometimes you don't want to have your emotions be shifted. And in fact, when other people try to do that, it can elicit what we call reactants. Like you get defensive because I don't want you pushing me in the particular direction.

Sometimes you don't want to have your emotions be shifted. And in fact, when other people try to do that, it can elicit what we call reactants. Like you get defensive because I don't want you pushing me in the particular direction.

Sometimes you don't want to have your emotions be shifted. And in fact, when other people try to do that, it can elicit what we call reactants. Like you get defensive because I don't want you pushing me in the particular direction.

I think that's a really important point that we need to be aware of as people living and working in these social environments where we're often well-intentioned, but sometimes our well-intentioned behaviors can backfire. And so there's this beautiful research which shows that

I think that's a really important point that we need to be aware of as people living and working in these social environments where we're often well-intentioned, but sometimes our well-intentioned behaviors can backfire. And so there's this beautiful research which shows that

I think that's a really important point that we need to be aware of as people living and working in these social environments where we're often well-intentioned, but sometimes our well-intentioned behaviors can backfire. And so there's this beautiful research which shows that

If you see someone suffering and you volunteer to help them and they haven't asked you to help them, that can blow up in your face. Because what it does is it often communicates to people that you are thinking that they're not capable of handling their own circumstances. And most of us, like, we're motivated to think that we're capable of handling ourselves.

If you see someone suffering and you volunteer to help them and they haven't asked you to help them, that can blow up in your face. Because what it does is it often communicates to people that you are thinking that they're not capable of handling their own circumstances. And most of us, like, we're motivated to think that we're capable of handling ourselves.

If you see someone suffering and you volunteer to help them and they haven't asked you to help them, that can blow up in your face. Because what it does is it often communicates to people that you are thinking that they're not capable of handling their own circumstances. And most of us, like, we're motivated to think that we're capable of handling ourselves.

And so there are still ways you can help people in those circumstances. It's called providing invisible support, which involves providing support to the person who can genuinely benefit from it, but not shining a spotlight on the fact that that is what you are doing. So how might this transpire? There's some really simple things you could do. So let's say my wife is...

And so there are still ways you can help people in those circumstances. It's called providing invisible support, which involves providing support to the person who can genuinely benefit from it, but not shining a spotlight on the fact that that is what you are doing. So how might this transpire? There's some really simple things you could do. So let's say my wife is...

And so there are still ways you can help people in those circumstances. It's called providing invisible support, which involves providing support to the person who can genuinely benefit from it, but not shining a spotlight on the fact that that is what you are doing. So how might this transpire? There's some really simple things you could do. So let's say my wife is...

really overwhelmed with stuff. And she hasn't asked me for help, but I know she is at her wit's end, work and kids and other kinds of stuff that are on her plate. I can proactively do things to lessen her burden. If it's her turn to pick up the dry cleaning and the groceries, I'm doing that voluntarily. I'm doing that and I'm not coming home and saying, hey, sweetie, look what I did today.

really overwhelmed with stuff. And she hasn't asked me for help, but I know she is at her wit's end, work and kids and other kinds of stuff that are on her plate. I can proactively do things to lessen her burden. If it's her turn to pick up the dry cleaning and the groceries, I'm doing that voluntarily. I'm doing that and I'm not coming home and saying, hey, sweetie, look what I did today.

really overwhelmed with stuff. And she hasn't asked me for help, but I know she is at her wit's end, work and kids and other kinds of stuff that are on her plate. I can proactively do things to lessen her burden. If it's her turn to pick up the dry cleaning and the groceries, I'm doing that voluntarily. I'm doing that and I'm not coming home and saying, hey, sweetie, look what I did today.

I did all these things. Can I have a pat on my back? That's not what we're talking about. It's about your group, your lab is working under a deadline, right, to submit a grant application and they don't have time to eat and you proactively have pizza delivered to the lab. It's those little things that can help. Give you two more examples.