Dr. Ethan Kross

Emotions go up. Then as time goes on, The emotion fades. Depending on the experience, some go way up, some a little bit, some take longer, some recover more quickly, but nearly all of them follow that trajectory. We lose sight of that when we're in the midst of it. When we're in the cauldron, we zoom in on the awfulness. We forget that as time passes, things will settle down a bit.

When you jump into the time travel machine, how am I going to think about this? How am I going to feel tomorrow, next week, next month, 10 years from now? It speeds up. You don't have to wait for time to pass because you get to the, oh, it's five years from now. What am I going to think about this argument I just had?

When you jump into the time travel machine, how am I going to think about this? How am I going to feel tomorrow, next week, next month, 10 years from now? It speeds up. You don't have to wait for time to pass because you get to the, oh, it's five years from now. What am I going to think about this argument I just had?

When you jump into the time travel machine, how am I going to think about this? How am I going to feel tomorrow, next week, next month, 10 years from now? It speeds up. You don't have to wait for time to pass because you get to the, oh, it's five years from now. What am I going to think about this argument I just had?

What that does is it highlights the fact that what you're going through is temporary. It's unstable. It will eventually fade. That turns the volume down on our emotions, right? So that's time travel into the future. Go into the past. You could do this. It works a little bit differently. I find it to be equally effective. So shit hits the fan. Things aren't going well.

What that does is it highlights the fact that what you're going through is temporary. It's unstable. It will eventually fade. That turns the volume down on our emotions, right? So that's time travel into the future. Go into the past. You could do this. It works a little bit differently. I find it to be equally effective. So shit hits the fan. Things aren't going well.

What that does is it highlights the fact that what you're going through is temporary. It's unstable. It will eventually fade. That turns the volume down on our emotions, right? So that's time travel into the future. Go into the past. You could do this. It works a little bit differently. I find it to be equally effective. So shit hits the fan. Things aren't going well.

Mental time travel machine, 1943. Eastern Poland. Get out. I spent some time with my grandparents evading the Nazis in the frozen Polish woods. I don't have to spend much time with them back then to realize that what I'm going through now, come on, this pales in comparison to what they had to endure. It's a powerful, powerful way of putting my adversity in perspective.

Mental time travel machine, 1943. Eastern Poland. Get out. I spent some time with my grandparents evading the Nazis in the frozen Polish woods. I don't have to spend much time with them back then to realize that what I'm going through now, come on, this pales in comparison to what they had to endure. It's a powerful, powerful way of putting my adversity in perspective.

Mental time travel machine, 1943. Eastern Poland. Get out. I spent some time with my grandparents evading the Nazis in the frozen Polish woods. I don't have to spend much time with them back then to realize that what I'm going through now, come on, this pales in comparison to what they had to endure. It's a powerful, powerful way of putting my adversity in perspective.

Now, to be clear, these little jujitsu moves, these are not taking a negative experience and turning it into a tea party. What they are doing is they're turning the volume down on the negativity, allowing me to re-engage, be objective, and get on with things. Those are two distancing tactics. I'm going to throw two more at you really quick because these are just very tactical moves here.

Now, to be clear, these little jujitsu moves, these are not taking a negative experience and turning it into a tea party. What they are doing is they're turning the volume down on the negativity, allowing me to re-engage, be objective, and get on with things. Those are two distancing tactics. I'm going to throw two more at you really quick because these are just very tactical moves here.

Now, to be clear, these little jujitsu moves, these are not taking a negative experience and turning it into a tea party. What they are doing is they're turning the volume down on the negativity, allowing me to re-engage, be objective, and get on with things. Those are two distancing tactics. I'm going to throw two more at you really quick because these are just very tactical moves here.

One of my favorite tools, distance self-talk. Coach yourself through a problem silently, very important, silently, using your name and you. All right, Ethan, how are you going to deal with this? Here's what you're going to do. We are much better at giving advice to other people than we are giving advice to ourselves. We are all giant hypocrites at some level.

One of my favorite tools, distance self-talk. Coach yourself through a problem silently, very important, silently, using your name and you. All right, Ethan, how are you going to deal with this? Here's what you're going to do. We are much better at giving advice to other people than we are giving advice to ourselves. We are all giant hypocrites at some level.

One of my favorite tools, distance self-talk. Coach yourself through a problem silently, very important, silently, using your name and you. All right, Ethan, how are you going to deal with this? Here's what you're going to do. We are much better at giving advice to other people than we are giving advice to ourselves. We are all giant hypocrites at some level.

This is not just me who says this, right? I mean, think about the phrase, do as I say, not as I do. right? Like we're all familiar with that phrase. When you use the word you and your name to coach yourself through a problem, you're using language to shift your perspective. Most of the time we use the word you So when we think about and refer to someone else, right?

This is not just me who says this, right? I mean, think about the phrase, do as I say, not as I do. right? Like we're all familiar with that phrase. When you use the word you and your name to coach yourself through a problem, you're using language to shift your perspective. Most of the time we use the word you So when we think about and refer to someone else, right?

This is not just me who says this, right? I mean, think about the phrase, do as I say, not as I do. right? Like we're all familiar with that phrase. When you use the word you and your name to coach yourself through a problem, you're using language to shift your perspective. Most of the time we use the word you So when we think about and refer to someone else, right?

I is when we think about ourself. You is someone else. So when I'm talking to myself with you, it's putting me in this advice coaching mode, if you will. This is how I talk to someone else. I'm really good at giving advice to other people. not so good about giving advice to myself.