Dr. Ethan Kross

yeah well put um you know you just get psych phd here we come um oh there was uh there's actually uh this famous artist i think his name was hunder hunderwasser some i'm butchering the name but his artistic style was characterized by an aversion to straight lines he thought they encroached on his creativity and when i'm when i'm in it when i'm like writing and trying to be creative like

yeah well put um you know you just get psych phd here we come um oh there was uh there's actually uh this famous artist i think his name was hunder hunderwasser some i'm butchering the name but his artistic style was characterized by an aversion to straight lines he thought they encroached on his creativity and when i'm when i'm in it when i'm like writing and trying to be creative like

yeah well put um you know you just get psych phd here we come um oh there was uh there's actually uh this famous artist i think his name was hunder hunderwasser some i'm butchering the name but his artistic style was characterized by an aversion to straight lines he thought they encroached on his creativity and when i'm when i'm in it when i'm like writing and trying to be creative like

The office is a total mess. The only time my office is clean is when I'm having a little spell of rumination about something. That's when I put things away nice and orderly. That speaks to the flexibility of our minds and how closely tethered they are to our surroundings. Again, once you know about these principles, it allows you to be less reactive and more strategic. What do I mean by that?

The office is a total mess. The only time my office is clean is when I'm having a little spell of rumination about something. That's when I put things away nice and orderly. That speaks to the flexibility of our minds and how closely tethered they are to our surroundings. Again, once you know about these principles, it allows you to be less reactive and more strategic. What do I mean by that?

The office is a total mess. The only time my office is clean is when I'm having a little spell of rumination about something. That's when I put things away nice and orderly. That speaks to the flexibility of our minds and how closely tethered they are to our surroundings. Again, once you know about these principles, it allows you to be less reactive and more strategic. What do I mean by that?

Earlier in life, I would organize and clean up when I was stressed out. I didn't know why. Now, when I find the rumination just beginning to percolate, I immediately start cleaning and organizing. I get in there right away. So the amount of time between the trigger and my intervention has shortened quite a bit based on what I know about how these tools work.

Earlier in life, I would organize and clean up when I was stressed out. I didn't know why. Now, when I find the rumination just beginning to percolate, I immediately start cleaning and organizing. I get in there right away. So the amount of time between the trigger and my intervention has shortened quite a bit based on what I know about how these tools work.

Earlier in life, I would organize and clean up when I was stressed out. I didn't know why. Now, when I find the rumination just beginning to percolate, I immediately start cleaning and organizing. I get in there right away. So the amount of time between the trigger and my intervention has shortened quite a bit based on what I know about how these tools work.

Okay, so relationship shifters. Let me give you three take-homes here for how to harness your relationships with other people. There are lots of ways other people can affect us, obviously. We are a social species. One is when you go to them to talk about your problems... you've got to be careful about who you choose to talk to about your problems because they can either help you or harm you.

Okay, so relationship shifters. Let me give you three take-homes here for how to harness your relationships with other people. There are lots of ways other people can affect us, obviously. We are a social species. One is when you go to them to talk about your problems... you've got to be careful about who you choose to talk to about your problems because they can either help you or harm you.

Okay, so relationship shifters. Let me give you three take-homes here for how to harness your relationships with other people. There are lots of ways other people can affect us, obviously. We are a social species. One is when you go to them to talk about your problems... you've got to be careful about who you choose to talk to about your problems because they can either help you or harm you.

And sometimes the harm comes even when they're really well-intentioned. What do I mean by this? Lots of people think that the best way to provide support for someone else is just to let them vent about their emotions. What we have learned about venting is venting is good for strengthening the relational bonds between people. Good to know that someone else has your back.

And sometimes the harm comes even when they're really well-intentioned. What do I mean by this? Lots of people think that the best way to provide support for someone else is just to let them vent about their emotions. What we have learned about venting is venting is good for strengthening the relational bonds between people. Good to know that someone else has your back.

And sometimes the harm comes even when they're really well-intentioned. What do I mean by this? Lots of people think that the best way to provide support for someone else is just to let them vent about their emotions. What we have learned about venting is venting is good for strengthening the relational bonds between people. Good to know that someone else has your back.

They're willing to hear you out, empathize with you. The problem with venting is if that is all you do, you leave the conversation, you feel tight about your relationship with that other person, the problem is still there. The best kinds of conversations do two things. You talk to someone who first gives you this opportunity to express your feelings. They listen, they engage, they empathize.

They're willing to hear you out, empathize with you. The problem with venting is if that is all you do, you leave the conversation, you feel tight about your relationship with that other person, the problem is still there. The best kinds of conversations do two things. You talk to someone who first gives you this opportunity to express your feelings. They listen, they engage, they empathize.

They're willing to hear you out, empathize with you. The problem with venting is if that is all you do, you leave the conversation, you feel tight about your relationship with that other person, the problem is still there. The best kinds of conversations do two things. You talk to someone who first gives you this opportunity to express your feelings. They listen, they engage, they empathize.

But then at a certain point in the conversation, they start working with you to broaden your perspective. they're in an ideal position to help you do that. Problem isn't often happening to them. There's an art to doing this well. So if you're now the person that someone is coming to, seeking support, you start off and, you know, like, what's going on? Tell me about it. Oh, it sounds terrible.

But then at a certain point in the conversation, they start working with you to broaden your perspective. they're in an ideal position to help you do that. Problem isn't often happening to them. There's an art to doing this well. So if you're now the person that someone is coming to, seeking support, you start off and, you know, like, what's going on? Tell me about it. Oh, it sounds terrible.