Dr. Jamil Zaki

So if you treat people that way, they will treat you that way. And oftentimes what you see in research and in life is that cynics will treat people as though they are selfish and And then bring out those people's most selfish side. And then the cynic will say, aha, I knew it all along. Not realizing that they have created the very situation that they feared.

Yeah, absolutely, right? So I think that you're pointing to the virtuous version, right? I mean, if cynicism creates these kind of toxic, self-fulfilling prophecies, right? You basically, you mistreat somebody, they mistreat you. You can think of that as energy dissipating from the relationship, right? Basically, the connection between you reducing to zero, sort of giving way to entropy.

Yeah, absolutely, right? So I think that you're pointing to the virtuous version, right? I mean, if cynicism creates these kind of toxic, self-fulfilling prophecies, right? You basically, you mistreat somebody, they mistreat you. You can think of that as energy dissipating from the relationship, right? Basically, the connection between you reducing to zero, sort of giving way to entropy.

Yeah, absolutely, right? So I think that you're pointing to the virtuous version, right? I mean, if cynicism creates these kind of toxic, self-fulfilling prophecies, right? You basically, you mistreat somebody, they mistreat you. You can think of that as energy dissipating from the relationship, right? Basically, the connection between you reducing to zero, sort of giving way to entropy.

Well, guess what? The opposite happens when we treat other people in good faith, right? When we treat them as though They're the folks we hope they are instead of the people we fear they are. This is what is often known in social science as earned trust, right? So when you treat somebody as though they will step up, they're much more likely to step up.

Well, guess what? The opposite happens when we treat other people in good faith, right? When we treat them as though They're the folks we hope they are instead of the people we fear they are. This is what is often known in social science as earned trust, right? So when you treat somebody as though they will step up, they're much more likely to step up.

Well, guess what? The opposite happens when we treat other people in good faith, right? When we treat them as though They're the folks we hope they are instead of the people we fear they are. This is what is often known in social science as earned trust, right? So when you treat somebody as though they will step up, they're much more likely to step up.

And that's why I often encourage people to not just trust others in order to learn about them and build relationships, but to trust loudly. if you're going to put faith in somebody, tell them you're doing it. I know it can sound cringe and corny and all of that, but the data are very clear that we underestimate the power of our positive words.

And that's why I often encourage people to not just trust others in order to learn about them and build relationships, but to trust loudly. if you're going to put faith in somebody, tell them you're doing it. I know it can sound cringe and corny and all of that, but the data are very clear that we underestimate the power of our positive words.

And that's why I often encourage people to not just trust others in order to learn about them and build relationships, but to trust loudly. if you're going to put faith in somebody, tell them you're doing it. I know it can sound cringe and corny and all of that, but the data are very clear that we underestimate the power of our positive words.

And Abby, to your point, that generates energy in so far as when we tell people, hey, I'm going to give you this responsibility or I'm going to invest my time in you or my energy in you because I believe in you. If you say that out loud, it makes it much more likely that this person is honored by the way that you're treating them. And then they become... Who you hope they'll be. Right.

And Abby, to your point, that generates energy in so far as when we tell people, hey, I'm going to give you this responsibility or I'm going to invest my time in you or my energy in you because I believe in you. If you say that out loud, it makes it much more likely that this person is honored by the way that you're treating them. And then they become... Who you hope they'll be. Right.

And Abby, to your point, that generates energy in so far as when we tell people, hey, I'm going to give you this responsibility or I'm going to invest my time in you or my energy in you because I believe in you. If you say that out loud, it makes it much more likely that this person is honored by the way that you're treating them. And then they become... Who you hope they'll be. Right.

So it turns self-fulfilling prophecies into something really beautiful.

So it turns self-fulfilling prophecies into something really beautiful.

So it turns self-fulfilling prophecies into something really beautiful.

I think that's so beautiful and compelling. And it reminds me of in psychology, we talk about the Pygmalion effect. So there's all these experiments where teachers are told that some of their students are gifted and then the rest are not. But in fact, and we wouldn't run these experiments today, by the way, these are done decades ago.

I think that's so beautiful and compelling. And it reminds me of in psychology, we talk about the Pygmalion effect. So there's all these experiments where teachers are told that some of their students are gifted and then the rest are not. But in fact, and we wouldn't run these experiments today, by the way, these are done decades ago.

I think that's so beautiful and compelling. And it reminds me of in psychology, we talk about the Pygmalion effect. So there's all these experiments where teachers are told that some of their students are gifted and then the rest are not. But in fact, and we wouldn't run these experiments today, by the way, these are done decades ago.

But in fact, the students that the teacher learns are gifted, their aptitude is the same as all the other ones. But it turns out that teachers who think that they're working with a gifted student invest more in them. They say, I think you're going to thrive. I think you're going to crush this. I think you're going to succeed. And then guess what? Those students become more likely to succeed.