Dr. Jamil Zaki

They get really freaked out, of course, as you might when their caregiver leaves, but then they soothe quickly when their caregiver returns. The remaining third or so of kids are insecurely attached, meaning that they're skittish in new environments even when their parent or caregiver is there. They really freak out when their caregiver leaves, and they're not very soothed upon their return.

They get really freaked out, of course, as you might when their caregiver leaves, but then they soothe quickly when their caregiver returns. The remaining third or so of kids are insecurely attached, meaning that they're skittish in new environments even when their parent or caregiver is there. They really freak out when their caregiver leaves, and they're not very soothed upon their return.

They get really freaked out, of course, as you might when their caregiver leaves, but then they soothe quickly when their caregiver returns. The remaining third or so of kids are insecurely attached, meaning that they're skittish in new environments even when their parent or caregiver is there. They really freak out when their caregiver leaves, and they're not very soothed upon their return.

Now, for a long time, attachment style was viewed in very emotional terms. And it is. It is an emotional reaction, first and foremost. But researchers more recently have started to think about, well, what are the cognitive schemas? What are the underpinnings, the ways that children think when they are securely or insecurely attached? And one brilliant study used looking time.

Now, for a long time, attachment style was viewed in very emotional terms. And it is. It is an emotional reaction, first and foremost. But researchers more recently have started to think about, well, what are the cognitive schemas? What are the underpinnings, the ways that children think when they are securely or insecurely attached? And one brilliant study used looking time.

Now, for a long time, attachment style was viewed in very emotional terms. And it is. It is an emotional reaction, first and foremost. But researchers more recently have started to think about, well, what are the cognitive schemas? What are the underpinnings, the ways that children think when they are securely or insecurely attached? And one brilliant study used looking time.

Looking time in kids is a metric of what surprises them. If something really surprising happens, they look for a very long time. And researchers found that insecurely attached kids, when they saw a video of a reunion of a caregiver and infant acting in a way that felt loving and stable, they looked longer, as though that was surprising.

Looking time in kids is a metric of what surprises them. If something really surprising happens, they look for a very long time. And researchers found that insecurely attached kids, when they saw a video of a reunion of a caregiver and infant acting in a way that felt loving and stable, they looked longer, as though that was surprising.

Looking time in kids is a metric of what surprises them. If something really surprising happens, they look for a very long time. And researchers found that insecurely attached kids, when they saw a video of a reunion of a caregiver and infant acting in a way that felt loving and stable, they looked longer, as though that was surprising.

kids who were securely attached didn't look very long at those stable interactions, but looked longer at interactions that were unstable. Interesting. It's almost as though there is a setup that kids develop very early. Can I count on people? Am I safe with people?

kids who were securely attached didn't look very long at those stable interactions, but looked longer at interactions that were unstable. Interesting. It's almost as though there is a setup that kids develop very early. Can I count on people? Am I safe with people?

kids who were securely attached didn't look very long at those stable interactions, but looked longer at interactions that were unstable. Interesting. It's almost as though there is a setup that kids develop very early. Can I count on people? Am I safe with people?

And insecure attachment is a signal coming early in life, no, you're not safe with people, that I think, well, and the data show, elaborates later in life into mistrust in other relationships.

And insecure attachment is a signal coming early in life, no, you're not safe with people, that I think, well, and the data show, elaborates later in life into mistrust in other relationships.

And insecure attachment is a signal coming early in life, no, you're not safe with people, that I think, well, and the data show, elaborates later in life into mistrust in other relationships.

That's a very sharp way of thinking about it, actually. And I wish that people knew more about the discrepancy between these two ways of viewing the world. Cynicism and skepticism, people often use them interchangeably. In fact, they're quite different, and I would argue that one is much more useful for learning about the world and building relationships than the other.

That's a very sharp way of thinking about it, actually. And I wish that people knew more about the discrepancy between these two ways of viewing the world. Cynicism and skepticism, people often use them interchangeably. In fact, they're quite different, and I would argue that one is much more useful for learning about the world and building relationships than the other.

That's a very sharp way of thinking about it, actually. And I wish that people knew more about the discrepancy between these two ways of viewing the world. Cynicism and skepticism, people often use them interchangeably. In fact, they're quite different, and I would argue that one is much more useful for learning about the world and building relationships than the other.

Again, cynicism is a theory that's kind of locked in, that no matter what people show you, their true colors are, again, untrustworthy and self-oriented. It's a hyper Darwinian view, right? That ultimately people are red in tooth and claw. Skepticism is instead the, I guess, restlessness with our assumptions, a desire for new information.

Again, cynicism is a theory that's kind of locked in, that no matter what people show you, their true colors are, again, untrustworthy and self-oriented. It's a hyper Darwinian view, right? That ultimately people are red in tooth and claw. Skepticism is instead the, I guess, restlessness with our assumptions, a desire for new information.