Dr. Jamil Zaki

One big predictor of cynicism is what we could call insecure attachment, right? If early in your life, you just didn't feel safe in the context of your home and family, it's much more likely that you put up those walls. And again, I say this with zero judgment and just in the context interest of transparency and disclosure. That's my experience, right?

I had a pretty insecure, emotional upbringing. And I think that's where my cynicism comes from. It took me decades and many years of therapy to come to a place where I could trust people in my life. And that wasn't because I was trying to look smart in front of other people or impress them. It was because I was trying to gain control in a life where it sometimes didn't feel like I had it.

I had a pretty insecure, emotional upbringing. And I think that's where my cynicism comes from. It took me decades and many years of therapy to come to a place where I could trust people in my life. And that wasn't because I was trying to look smart in front of other people or impress them. It was because I was trying to gain control in a life where it sometimes didn't feel like I had it.

I had a pretty insecure, emotional upbringing. And I think that's where my cynicism comes from. It took me decades and many years of therapy to come to a place where I could trust people in my life. And that wasn't because I was trying to look smart in front of other people or impress them. It was because I was trying to gain control in a life where it sometimes didn't feel like I had it.

It's really interesting. So cynicism is less correlated with extroversion and introversion than with another personality dimension called agreeableness. So generally a cynic would probably be less extroverted than a non-cynic, but only a little, the relationship is weaker. What they definitely are not is agreeable.

It's really interesting. So cynicism is less correlated with extroversion and introversion than with another personality dimension called agreeableness. So generally a cynic would probably be less extroverted than a non-cynic, but only a little, the relationship is weaker. What they definitely are not is agreeable.

It's really interesting. So cynicism is less correlated with extroversion and introversion than with another personality dimension called agreeableness. So generally a cynic would probably be less extroverted than a non-cynic, but only a little, the relationship is weaker. What they definitely are not is agreeable.

They're just not as, although they might be fun to hang out with, they're probably not going to react as positively to other people and be as warm towards other people. That's really the personality dimension that tracks it most strongly. Yeah.

They're just not as, although they might be fun to hang out with, they're probably not going to react as positively to other people and be as warm towards other people. That's really the personality dimension that tracks it most strongly. Yeah.

They're just not as, although they might be fun to hang out with, they're probably not going to react as positively to other people and be as warm towards other people. That's really the personality dimension that tracks it most strongly. Yeah.

Absolutely. I want to separate between optimism and hope as well. I wrote a book about hope, came out during an election season. The election went away that a lot of people were not expecting or wanting. And I received about 5,000 emails telling me that I was a ridiculous and toxic person for encouraging hope in this moment. And to which I would say, hey, it's fair.

Absolutely. I want to separate between optimism and hope as well. I wrote a book about hope, came out during an election season. The election went away that a lot of people were not expecting or wanting. And I received about 5,000 emails telling me that I was a ridiculous and toxic person for encouraging hope in this moment. And to which I would say, hey, it's fair.

Absolutely. I want to separate between optimism and hope as well. I wrote a book about hope, came out during an election season. The election went away that a lot of people were not expecting or wanting. And I received about 5,000 emails telling me that I was a ridiculous and toxic person for encouraging hope in this moment. And to which I would say, hey, it's fair.

Maybe read some of the writing before.

Maybe read some of the writing before.

Maybe read some of the writing before.

They seemed really smart when they wrote. But at any rate, I totally understand the sentiment. And the same way that we've glamorized gloom, I think that we've actually stereotyped hope. as naive and privileged and even toxic, right? As though it's toxic positivity, you're ignoring real problem. I mean, look at all the tragedies happening simultaneously in the world.

They seemed really smart when they wrote. But at any rate, I totally understand the sentiment. And the same way that we've glamorized gloom, I think that we've actually stereotyped hope. as naive and privileged and even toxic, right? As though it's toxic positivity, you're ignoring real problem. I mean, look at all the tragedies happening simultaneously in the world.

They seemed really smart when they wrote. But at any rate, I totally understand the sentiment. And the same way that we've glamorized gloom, I think that we've actually stereotyped hope. as naive and privileged and even toxic, right? As though it's toxic positivity, you're ignoring real problem. I mean, look at all the tragedies happening simultaneously in the world.

We're living inside this crisis layer cake and you're telling me to be hopeful. It sounds ridiculous and even harmful. I think that folks who say that might be confusing hope with optimism. So optimism is the belief that the future will turn out well. And optimists tend to be pretty happy, but they can also be a little bit complacent, right?