Dr. John Delony

Um, I think you have to get to the motivation behind what you're seeking.

I hope to God he's not your role model.

There you go.

And that's my point is often we have this feeling, this sense that we're going to have this big confrontation.

You've probably dressed a hearse to this conversation a thousand times, probably 10,000 times.

gonna say this he's gonna bow his head and be like i'm so sorry and you're gonna like be heard and be said there's gonna be this cathartic moment for both of you and then it will clear the deck for this future relationship almost zero percent chance that happens yeah and so then you have to ask yourself have i grieved the fact that i anchored into a man who was not who he said he was

And deal with the onion that is layer by layer what I anchored into was never real in the first place.

Or parts of it were real.

He did show up to work every day and provide for our family.

He did give me school tuition.

He did buy me shoes.

I mean, he did stuff like that.

And he also lied and cheated and then lied more and was deceptive.

Like both and, the complexity of it all.

But if you want to figure out how to forgive so that everything moves forward rosy, that's not an honest picture of forgiveness.

If you want to have a big fight just to make sure that this man knows how you feel, you can do that.

you're a grown man, you can do whatever you want.

I've never heard somebody have that confrontation and say it felt as good as they thought it was going to and didn't walk away feeling more small than before the conversation.

I've not met that person.

And so I think you have to ask yourself, what are you hoping to accomplish?