Dr. Kristin Carothers

It's just attention seeking behavior. Exactly.

It's just attention seeking behavior. Exactly.

Thank you for using that term.

Thank you for using that term.

Yes.

Yes.

I love that.

I love that.

And that's the antecedent intervention. That's setting up the environment for success. You saying press record or let me know when you're ready to press record signals to his brain that I've got to do something. I've got to behave differently. And then he's able to follow through and then you reinforce him because then you continue to talk to him once you know that he's ready to listen.

And that's the antecedent intervention. That's setting up the environment for success. You saying press record or let me know when you're ready to press record signals to his brain that I've got to do something. I've got to behave differently. And then he's able to follow through and then you reinforce him because then you continue to talk to him once you know that he's ready to listen.

consequence is you all are connected. So like what you all just did right now, there was connection there. You gave feedback about when you were able to really hear her. And then you were like, thank you for giving me that feedback because now I know how to cue you in when I need to talk to you. And that's what doesn't happen in partnerships and relationships.

consequence is you all are connected. So like what you all just did right now, there was connection there. You gave feedback about when you were able to really hear her. And then you were like, thank you for giving me that feedback because now I know how to cue you in when I need to talk to you. And that's what doesn't happen in partnerships and relationships.

Parent to child, spouse to spouse, family to family. That's like a process thing. We don't take time to process things because we're so focused on moving forward and getting to the next thing. And so to have the opportunity to say, especially to your significant other, I need you to press record or I need you to say, hey, can you put your phone down?

Parent to child, spouse to spouse, family to family. That's like a process thing. We don't take time to process things because we're so focused on moving forward and getting to the next thing. And so to have the opportunity to say, especially to your significant other, I need you to press record or I need you to say, hey, can you put your phone down?

Because like with kids, we're accustomed to like snatching a tablet, turning off a screen to get them focused. As adults, we're just as guilty of being preoccupied with Instagram, with our screens, with our phones. And sometimes we need help. to get away from those things so we can actually attend to each other.

Because like with kids, we're accustomed to like snatching a tablet, turning off a screen to get them focused. As adults, we're just as guilty of being preoccupied with Instagram, with our screens, with our phones. And sometimes we need help. to get away from those things so we can actually attend to each other.

And one of the things I say to little kids that I'm working with in intervention is, give me your eyes. Thank you for looking at me. Now that I know that you're looking, I think you can listen. Please pass me that. And then we continue to maintain eye contact. It really helps them to know that I'm engaged.

And one of the things I say to little kids that I'm working with in intervention is, give me your eyes. Thank you for looking at me. Now that I know that you're looking, I think you can listen. Please pass me that. And then we continue to maintain eye contact. It really helps them to know that I'm engaged.

And so in a relationship, if you have ADHD or you don't have ADHD, I think that's a skill that we could all learn because many of us think we have ADHD because we are so wired to screens right now. We're so reinforced with screens. We're so reinforced by multitasking. We are hearing a lot of noise and we don't take a lot of time to be fully present and aware anymore. in this moment.

And so in a relationship, if you have ADHD or you don't have ADHD, I think that's a skill that we could all learn because many of us think we have ADHD because we are so wired to screens right now. We're so reinforced with screens. We're so reinforced by multitasking. We are hearing a lot of noise and we don't take a lot of time to be fully present and aware anymore. in this moment.