Dr. Laurie Santos

again and i think this is key right we're pushing for something we're working really hard towards things that that we think matter that we think are gonna make us feel fulfilled but we're actually going after this stuff that's not going to work as well as we expect and we're putting all that time in at the opportunity cost of stuff that we know does matter in your own story i bet you imagine that what put on the wayside was relationships with family probably your health probably your sleep probably active volunteering and just doing big things and good things in the world

Those are the things that the research shows really matters for happiness much more than the grind at work. And so I think one of the reasons we're seeing these levels of depression and anxiety in college students is that they are actively focused on the wrong stuff being the grind, things that are going to benefit them as an individual, not the stuff that really winds up mattering.

Those are the things that the research shows really matters for happiness much more than the grind at work. And so I think one of the reasons we're seeing these levels of depression and anxiety in college students is that they are actively focused on the wrong stuff being the grind, things that are going to benefit them as an individual, not the stuff that really winds up mattering.

Those are the things that the research shows really matters for happiness much more than the grind at work. And so I think one of the reasons we're seeing these levels of depression and anxiety in college students is that they are actively focused on the wrong stuff being the grind, things that are going to benefit them as an individual, not the stuff that really winds up mattering.

I mean, you're raising an important issue, right? Because I think we don't form our expectations about the things that are going to make us happy in a vacuum, right? There's lots of cultural ideals about the things that you should be working towards, right? Again, take my Yale students who just found out that they got in, they've been working all through high school, now they got into Yale.

I mean, you're raising an important issue, right? Because I think we don't form our expectations about the things that are going to make us happy in a vacuum, right? There's lots of cultural ideals about the things that you should be working towards, right? Again, take my Yale students who just found out that they got in, they've been working all through high school, now they got into Yale.

I mean, you're raising an important issue, right? Because I think we don't form our expectations about the things that are going to make us happy in a vacuum, right? There's lots of cultural ideals about the things that you should be working towards, right? Again, take my Yale students who just found out that they got in, they've been working all through high school, now they got into Yale.

Like culturally, that's supposed to be the thing that you took off the list and you're like happily ever after, right? You got this accolade. And I think the disconnect between my students feeling like I did the thing that was culturally supposed to make me super happy, but I'm feeling apathetic. I'm feeling miserable. Same thing when you get to the C-suite, right?

Like culturally, that's supposed to be the thing that you took off the list and you're like happily ever after, right? You got this accolade. And I think the disconnect between my students feeling like I did the thing that was culturally supposed to make me super happy, but I'm feeling apathetic. I'm feeling miserable. Same thing when you get to the C-suite, right?

Like culturally, that's supposed to be the thing that you took off the list and you're like happily ever after, right? You got this accolade. And I think the disconnect between my students feeling like I did the thing that was culturally supposed to make me super happy, but I'm feeling apathetic. I'm feeling miserable. Same thing when you get to the C-suite, right?

Like I'm running a successful company. I'm like at the top of my game. I'm supposed to like culture has told me this is the thing I'm supposed to do to feel good, but I feel really crappy. I think that disconnect really is huge. psychologically jarring, right? Because in some ways our expectations are really high for the happiness benefit that should come from this stuff and we're not getting it.

Like I'm running a successful company. I'm like at the top of my game. I'm supposed to like culture has told me this is the thing I'm supposed to do to feel good, but I feel really crappy. I think that disconnect really is huge. psychologically jarring, right? Because in some ways our expectations are really high for the happiness benefit that should come from this stuff and we're not getting it.

Like I'm running a successful company. I'm like at the top of my game. I'm supposed to like culture has told me this is the thing I'm supposed to do to feel good, but I feel really crappy. I think that disconnect really is huge. psychologically jarring, right? Because in some ways our expectations are really high for the happiness benefit that should come from this stuff and we're not getting it.

And we know expectations matter a lot for how we feel about things. But I think the second thing is it sets up what's often called the sort of golden handcuffs, which I think people think about in terms of money. But I think it's a lot due to status, right? That like, how could you leave this position that all your culture has told you is the thing that you're supposed to be doing to be happy.

And we know expectations matter a lot for how we feel about things. But I think the second thing is it sets up what's often called the sort of golden handcuffs, which I think people think about in terms of money. But I think it's a lot due to status, right? That like, how could you leave this position that all your culture has told you is the thing that you're supposed to be doing to be happy.

And we know expectations matter a lot for how we feel about things. But I think the second thing is it sets up what's often called the sort of golden handcuffs, which I think people think about in terms of money. But I think it's a lot due to status, right? That like, how could you leave this position that all your culture has told you is the thing that you're supposed to be doing to be happy.

Something must be wrong with you. But in fact, I think our culture comes up with incorrect notions about the kinds of things that are going to mean a lot in terms of our happiness. We get happiness wrong as individuals, but especially as a culture. And that makes it really hard to switch gears when things aren't working. It makes it really hard to change.

Something must be wrong with you. But in fact, I think our culture comes up with incorrect notions about the kinds of things that are going to mean a lot in terms of our happiness. We get happiness wrong as individuals, but especially as a culture. And that makes it really hard to switch gears when things aren't working. It makes it really hard to change.

Something must be wrong with you. But in fact, I think our culture comes up with incorrect notions about the kinds of things that are going to mean a lot in terms of our happiness. We get happiness wrong as individuals, but especially as a culture. And that makes it really hard to switch gears when things aren't working. It makes it really hard to change.

sure it necessarily needs to fit in. I mean, I think one of Uishi's views is that there are these different paths, right? The kind of path that you get from hedonic pleasure is just going to look different than the path that you get from meaning, but then it's also going to look different from the path that you get from this idea of living a psychologically rich life.