Dr. Laurie Santos

Yeah, probably way more than you think you should. We have good data on what people predict, which is that people predict social interaction is just not going to be that fun. It's not going to be worth it. This seems to be a spot where our predictions about how good something is going to be don't necessarily match how good it ultimately will going to be.

And I put it in the context of like the reverse of something like processed food where I think for a lot of people you predict this is going to be amazing and you taste it and you're like, no, I feel kind of gross.

And I put it in the context of like the reverse of something like processed food where I think for a lot of people you predict this is going to be amazing and you taste it and you're like, no, I feel kind of gross.

And I put it in the context of like the reverse of something like processed food where I think for a lot of people you predict this is going to be amazing and you taste it and you're like, no, I feel kind of gross.

Processed food, right. That's a case where your prediction is like, ooh, this is going to be awesome, but your actual likability is like, eh, I feel kind of yucky. Where social connection I think we predict will be all right, but maybe not that good. But when we get it, we feel really great.

Processed food, right. That's a case where your prediction is like, ooh, this is going to be awesome, but your actual likability is like, eh, I feel kind of yucky. Where social connection I think we predict will be all right, but maybe not that good. But when we get it, we feel really great.

Processed food, right. That's a case where your prediction is like, ooh, this is going to be awesome, but your actual likability is like, eh, I feel kind of yucky. Where social connection I think we predict will be all right, but maybe not that good. But when we get it, we feel really great.

The University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley has this term he uses, under-sociality, where he thinks we just kind of don't get the right reward benefit of social connection writ large, right? He talks about examples of expressing gratitude to people, giving somebody a compliment, even things like asking for help, right?

The University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley has this term he uses, under-sociality, where he thinks we just kind of don't get the right reward benefit of social connection writ large, right? He talks about examples of expressing gratitude to people, giving somebody a compliment, even things like asking for help, right?

The University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley has this term he uses, under-sociality, where he thinks we just kind of don't get the right reward benefit of social connection writ large, right? He talks about examples of expressing gratitude to people, giving somebody a compliment, even things like asking for help, right?

All these domains where we can kind of connect with another person, we sort of like, yeah, it may be net good if I was rating it on some scale, but it winds up being way better than we predict in all these contexts. He does these studies where he has people, you know, predict how good something will be. You know, giving a gift to somebody brings – he's in Chicago, right?

All these domains where we can kind of connect with another person, we sort of like, yeah, it may be net good if I was rating it on some scale, but it winds up being way better than we predict in all these contexts. He does these studies where he has people, you know, predict how good something will be. You know, giving a gift to somebody brings – he's in Chicago, right?

All these domains where we can kind of connect with another person, we sort of like, yeah, it may be net good if I was rating it on some scale, but it winds up being way better than we predict in all these contexts. He does these studies where he has people, you know, predict how good something will be. You know, giving a gift to somebody brings – he's in Chicago, right?

So he's like, here's a hot chocolate. How good will it feel to like, you know, give that guy over there a stranger the hot chocolate? And people say, you know, I don't know, three out of ten. But then they do it and then they feel, oh, it's like more like a six out of ten. It was much more rewarding for me, the giver, than I thought.

So he's like, here's a hot chocolate. How good will it feel to like, you know, give that guy over there a stranger the hot chocolate? And people say, you know, I don't know, three out of ten. But then they do it and then they feel, oh, it's like more like a six out of ten. It was much more rewarding for me, the giver, than I thought.

So he's like, here's a hot chocolate. How good will it feel to like, you know, give that guy over there a stranger the hot chocolate? And people say, you know, I don't know, three out of ten. But then they do it and then they feel, oh, it's like more like a six out of ten. It was much more rewarding for me, the giver, than I thought.

Same thing with compliments, expressing gratitude, calling a friend you haven't talked to in a long time, reaching out to somebody that you care about but you haven't connected with. All these spots are ones where our predictions are off. It's not the valence that's off. We know it will be good, but we just don't realize how good.

Same thing with compliments, expressing gratitude, calling a friend you haven't talked to in a long time, reaching out to somebody that you care about but you haven't connected with. All these spots are ones where our predictions are off. It's not the valence that's off. We know it will be good, but we just don't realize how good.

Same thing with compliments, expressing gratitude, calling a friend you haven't talked to in a long time, reaching out to somebody that you care about but you haven't connected with. All these spots are ones where our predictions are off. It's not the valence that's off. We know it will be good, but we just don't realize how good.

And his argument is that if we don't realize how good, then we never seek it out. So it's kind of the opposite of what you might think of as the processed food problem where our prediction is like – Oh, my God, that cupcake's going to be so good. We have all these mechanisms that are like, go get it, go get it. But then we actually get it. We're like, that wasn't as good as we thought.