Dr. Lindsay Gibson

So if this person observes the grandparent's behavior, it feels benign to them, that's your answer.

It's not bothering the kid.

They're not having your childhood with your parent.

But you won't know that until you really are observing it and you're there to see it.

Yes, and also to have the conversation with the grandparent later.

It could be that it's necessary at times to do it in the moment in front of the child.

Like, mom, don't do that.

We don't hit in this house, or we don't yell in this house, or whatever it might be.

I mean, the correction might need to happen in the moment.

But there can be the conversation of you're doing this with my child and I can't let that go on because I think it's hurting their feelings.

That doesn't feel good to them.

So what do you think we can do about that to engage the parent in some kind of, you know, collaborative problem solving?

Because I can't in good conscience let them come over and have you talk to them that way.

Oh, they were great questions.

And believe me, they're not the only people in the world that have those questions.

Yes, absolutely.

My mother, that was one of her favorite sayings when she got exasperated was, just wait until you have children.

Oh my God, my mom too, she would say that as well.

Well, I think that this is a phenomenon that's been going on in world history forever.

I mean, if you look at the news or you even read fairy tales, the idea that parents can be less mature and less wise than even their children is pretty evident in the way that people comport themselves as grownups.