Dr. Lindsay Gibson

But guidance says, in effect, you're a good person to the kid.

You're still learning.

I want to explain to you why I'm worried about this, and we're going to talk about it.

I think people see punishment and consequences as the same thing.

Right.

Yes, I'm using that interchangeably.

Yeah.

Well, I think most of us who've, you know, grown up in this period of history would do that because that's what we've been taught is that when I do something wrong...

I'm punished, therefore punishment is the consequence.

But in real life, if you make a mistake or you do something at work that's irresponsible, your boss may quote unquote punish you by firing you.

But really what just happened was that was the consequence of your actions.

And in our own lives, we have control over a lot of that because we can anticipate consequences of our behavior.

That's a big part of what we try to help our children begin to realize.

So we want to get as close to adult life and how that works with our children when they're small.

And your boss is not going to smack you or...

yell at you at the top of his lungs.

He or she is probably not going to do that, but there will be consequences that you won't like.

So what do you mean yelling is for emergencies only?

No, no, far from it.

No, I mean, I had thoughts about this when I put this one in, because I thought, just exactly what you're saying.