Dr. Martha Beck

And then I say, so how many of you, if you were sitting at home alone, if you were at home alone right now, how many of you would be in exactly the position you're in at this moment? And nobody raises a hand. And then I say, why not? And they have to sit and think for a long time before someone finally says, I'm not completely comfortable this way.

And I would say, well, that's okay because humans can tolerate a lot of suffering. And this is mild. What concerns me and should concern you is that 30 seconds ago you swore to me in broad daylight that you were absolutely comfortable while you knew you weren't.

And I would say, well, that's okay because humans can tolerate a lot of suffering. And this is mild. What concerns me and should concern you is that 30 seconds ago you swore to me in broad daylight that you were absolutely comfortable while you knew you weren't.

Your body knew you weren't comfortable, and your mind was doing this little trick where it goes very quickly through this, okay, in order to listen to speeches, we sit in uncomfortable positions, and that's okay because it's worth the benefit we get out of it. So given that, I am tolerably comfortable. But all you think is, I'm comfortable. when you're not comfortable.

Your body knew you weren't comfortable, and your mind was doing this little trick where it goes very quickly through this, okay, in order to listen to speeches, we sit in uncomfortable positions, and that's okay because it's worth the benefit we get out of it. So given that, I am tolerably comfortable. But all you think is, I'm comfortable. when you're not comfortable.

So people come to me and they're in jobs where they're not comfortable, in relationships where they're like sometimes in intense suffering, in religions where they're not comfortable, in all kinds of places. And they think they're comfortable, but they're getting sick.

So people come to me and they're in jobs where they're not comfortable, in relationships where they're like sometimes in intense suffering, in religions where they're not comfortable, in all kinds of places. And they think they're comfortable, but they're getting sick.

They're getting physically sick or they're getting addicted to a substance because they're trying to numb the discomfort they won't acknowledge. And so pretty much all I do is help people get in touch with a really, really benevolent friend called suffering.

They're getting physically sick or they're getting addicted to a substance because they're trying to numb the discomfort they won't acknowledge. And so pretty much all I do is help people get in touch with a really, really benevolent friend called suffering.

When you know what makes you suffer, you're getting accurate information from your entire neurological system about what's working for you and what isn't and what would be better, what would be more comfortable, just a little bit. And if you keep correcting, I call them one-degree turns, I would be a little more comfortable doing this. So I did it like run off a cliff method. Don't do my way.

When you know what makes you suffer, you're getting accurate information from your entire neurological system about what's working for you and what isn't and what would be better, what would be more comfortable, just a little bit. And if you keep correcting, I call them one-degree turns, I would be a little more comfortable doing this. So I did it like run off a cliff method. Don't do my way.

Do the one-degree turns. If you're in an airplane and it turns one degree north every half hour over 10,000 miles, you won't even notice you're turning, but you'll be in a completely different place. And that's just noticing. oh, this isn't very comfortable for me. I would rather do this. You know, my girlfriend is anxious.

Do the one-degree turns. If you're in an airplane and it turns one degree north every half hour over 10,000 miles, you won't even notice you're turning, but you'll be in a completely different place. And that's just noticing. oh, this isn't very comfortable for me. I would rather do this. You know, my girlfriend is anxious.

I could break my back trying to figure out what's going on and getting her enough presents to make her happy. Or I could go in the other room, sit down, be gentle with myself, maybe do a little writing about how I feel. That would be a little more comfortable.

I could break my back trying to figure out what's going on and getting her enough presents to make her happy. Or I could go in the other room, sit down, be gentle with myself, maybe do a little writing about how I feel. That would be a little more comfortable.

100%. As Sir Ken Robinson says, you know, we're trained to think of our bodies as mechanisms that take our heads to meetings. You know, that the meetings are all important and our heads are all important and all of the rest of our evolution is meaningless to us. That's a very left hemisphere dominated way of thinking.

100%. As Sir Ken Robinson says, you know, we're trained to think of our bodies as mechanisms that take our heads to meetings. You know, that the meetings are all important and our heads are all important and all of the rest of our evolution is meaningless to us. That's a very left hemisphere dominated way of thinking.

And that's why Ian McGilchrist says we live like people with right hemisphere strokes. We're not even in our bodies. I think maybe you are more than most people. The way you talk about it and the way you've made decisions really, it speaks to me of a person who finds what's right for him with a lot of integrity.

And that's why Ian McGilchrist says we live like people with right hemisphere strokes. We're not even in our bodies. I think maybe you are more than most people. The way you talk about it and the way you've made decisions really, it speaks to me of a person who finds what's right for him with a lot of integrity.

And the thing is, the costs are high and the rewards are high. If you go gradually, you're going to get a smaller amount of gain, you know, by the year. If you run off a cliff, you can have a really rough ride, but you might come out with a lot of positives. And your skill of quitting, it reminds me –