Dr. Mary Fariba Afsari

And whether that story was coming from her or whether it was coming from somewhere else, I don't think I will ever know.

But it led me to a place where I had to learn my limitations as a doctor.

I mean, with the Amelia situation, it happened maybe 10 years into my career.

And I think the way I write about it is that

You can go into this profession a little bit puffed up and thinking that you are going to save people and that you play this role where you might feel like you can do more than you're actually truly capable of.

And so when I encountered a situation where no matter what I did, I was not going to be able to ultimately affect the outcome of her life.

I was able to affect her pregnancy outcome.

I was able to guide her through a very, very intense labor and delivery, but I wasn't able to then

be a participant in the future of her life.

I had to let it go.

And I do think when people ask me, how do I now navigate my life?

How do you not take everything home?

How do you remain compassionate but not allow it to swallow you up?

How do you not become a percentage of female physicians who find themselves in despair

I think that that acknowledgement that there's a limit to who we are and what we can do, I want to be a place where people know they can show up and I want to be able to provide them with everything that I am capable of providing them with.

And then I also understand at some point I also have to let them go.

And I just have to trust and hope that there are also other systems and people in place that are also able to catch them.

And it's not just me.