Dr. Maya Shankar

That helps bring you some confidence in this much needed moment.

You can also travel to the future and to remind yourself that your current situation is transient.

So you can ask yourself, how am I gonna feel about the same situation five days from now, five years from now, 15 years from now, 20 years from now?

You probably will feel the same way about this five days from now.

But in five years from now, when you found your way through it, or definitely 15 years from now, when, Paula, you look back at that firing, you actually see that it was a blessing in disguise because it unlocked all these strengths within you.

And it led you on this incredible path where you are such a badass businesswoman.

You will see it through a new perspective.

And I use mental time travel all the time because let's say I've had a negative experience with a coworker and I find myself kind of looping over it.

And in some cases, honestly, because

I'm feeling embarrassed.

I'm like, oh God, why did I say that?

That was so awkward.

What did I, and then I think, am I going to still feel this was as significant or important in five years from now?

Almost certainly not.

They might not even be my coworker anymore.

And so I think that can help breed psychological distance, which is what we're after.

Another tool is to try and understand, because you talked about in this hypothetical, that their identity is really tied to their job.

It's to engage in what's called affect labeling.

So oftentimes in the aftermath of a change, we just have this cloud of negative emotions.

And we often don't even know what's in there.