Dr. Nicole LePera

You are maybe causing dysfunction or trauma or abuse in my life right now.

And maybe I do see the role that your actions or inactions are contributing to how I feel.

yet in an empowered space and a true boundary is saying, and so I'm gonna take responsibility that I'm allowing it.

It's still happening.

I'm gonna show up differently now to limit the impact

of what you're doing, right?

So that that's how we then move forward, right?

We say, yes, the world has caused me harm.

My parents maybe didn't meet my need and I feel this kind of way.

And maybe as a result now, I'm finding myself repeating some dysfunctional habits and patterns in my life, which I have found myself until recently doing that.

But if I just blame you,

for abusing me, neglecting me, hurting me, then how am I moving forward to create safety and security?

I'm not, right?

So I have to look at the role I'm playing by maybe simply allowing it and by saying, hey, I need a limit.

I need to remove myself.

And that's how I then take the control back.

Even if and when as some of us will wake up and be like, wow, there's a lot of dysfunction.

You're actually hurting me and that's not okay anymore, but it's actually not you.

It's me for not putting a stop to it sooner, for not removing myself before I've gotten to this point.

I don't think I'm familiar with it.