Dr. Nicole LePera

Those of us who at New Year's, we want to start a new life starting tomorrow.

Now we want to have all these new habits.

What we're really doing is we're stressing out an already overstressed system.

As frustrating as it is the pathway, the change is best made with small, consistent steps that we're able to maintain, which is why in all of my work, I try to break down these habits, new habits into the smallest choice that we can make and maintain because that's how change is only possible.

We have to stay within a window.

We don't become so overwhelmed, even though it's completely natural.

So in that moment, many of us are reparenting.

If we didn't have a parent who showed us

how to care for our physical or emotional body, now we're creating some new habits that are so much more supportive.

And then to the next question of what do I need right now, I'd want to speak to us who might not know right away, right?

Might never have had a parent who cared to ask or who could meet our need if and when we were able to, once we got the ability to verbalize it, verbalize what it was or attune to what it was before we could speak it.

So I really want to normalize as you begin this journey.

You might not know.

I still don't know what I'm feeling in any given moment and what I need in any given moment.

For some of us, myself included, this kind of awareness happens once my body has calmed down and then I could explore now and get curious and say, okay, well, that reaction didn't work, right?

What can I try now?

To soothe the energy that I'm still experiencing in my body.

Because again, for many of us, as we begin this reparenting journey, that is healing.

Even just asking the question of what do you need?

What would feel supportive right now?