Dr. Nicole LePera

So all of this

was accessible and available, and it helped me feel more comfortable.

And I had the freedom to do that, and I did it hidden.

And yet I would still wake up at 6 a.m.

the next day, go pitch a softball tournament, win it, and seemingly be fine.

And so I speak a lot, and I have a whole chapter in the book dedicated to what I believe addictions are.

Whether or not I would call myself addicted at that time, I know that I used it to cope.

to cope with emptiness, disconnection, loneliness, nervous system dysregulation, again, because it made me feel more comfortable, more relatable, and more connected to my peers.

When I was born, my mom was 42, my dad was 45, my sister was 15 years older than me, and I do have a brother who I'm much less close to, but he was 18 years older than me and nearly out of the home living his own life as an 18-year-old would be.

So I was largely unplanned.

By that time, my mom was already struggling throughout my entire life.

She had a lot of chronic illness, chronic pain, so she spent a lot of time laying, resting in bed, which is why she would be in bed early when I got home late.

I really leaned into it.

It's a different generation.

You don't understand.

I heard a lot from my brother and my sister of how, right, they had more strict parents and that was the reality, right?

I'm like, it's the 90s.

This is what people do.

Where are you going to call out?

Out where?